Carmen stared at me, her parted lips conveying her surprise at these revelations. Her fearful demeanor had softened, and she listened intently to my every word.
“Didn’t you ever wonder how I managed to become so influential by the age of twenty-two?” I pressed. “How do you think I garnered enough favor to be invited to your family estate, where I had the opportunity to seduce you for information to use against your brother?”
Luis Ronaldo had been killed in a firefight with the federal police the following month, and I’d had everything I needed to stage my rebellion against Pedro.
“I fractured your cartel and took half for myself. I grasped for the power that I needed to secure my own domain.” I lifted my chin, unapologetic for how I’d destroyed her family’s organization to ensure my own survival. “I will never be controlled by a more powerful man ever again.”
I shifted my grip on my mother’s ruined ring, grasping it between my thumb and forefinger to ensure it captured Carmen’s focus.
“I keep this to remind myself of that. I’m sorry I lost my temper when I saw you holding it. No one other than me has touched it since the night my father tried to destroy it. I know I don’t experience emotions like other people, but I have a lot of dark, visceral feelings associated with that memory. I wasn’t prepared to be confronted with them, and I lost control.”
I took a step toward her, gauging her reaction. She swallowed hard, but she didn’t cringe or tremble.
I continued my progress, slowly closing the distance between us. I reached for her, and although she stiffened slightly, she didn’t flinch from my hand.
The silky glide of her hair against my calloused fingertips soothed the tension I held in my own muscles, and I breathed properly for the first time since I’d entered my penthouse to find her crouching behind the couch.
“I’m sorry I scared you.” I apologized again, speaking with the weight of an oath. “I will never hurt you, Carmen. I’m not like my father. I will never be like him.” The last vow was meant for myself every bit as much as it was meant for her.
Alejandro Duarte had been volatile, erratic. He’d lived by a strict moral code, but that hadn’t extended to treating his family with any form of mercy or human decency.
I was always firmly in control; the emotions that ruled weaker men didn’t influence my actions. And I didn’t bother hiding my misdeeds behind the pretense of morality.
I was the polar opposite of my father.
Carmen would come to see that. In time, she would accept that she didn’t have to be fearful around me.
I wouldn’t allow anyone to harm her and that included myself.
Chapter 17
Carmen
“You did scare me,” I murmured, admitting my own vulnerability.
Stefano already saw the weakness that I hid so carefully from everyone else; despite my icy demeanor, I was constantly afraid.
But for the first time, I felt compelled to share it with him by my own choosing.
He’d just admitted his own vulnerabilities, although I doubted he viewed them as weaknesses. I wasn’t certain if he’d been born with his sociopathic tendencies or if they had been wired into his brain as a child when he witnessed his father’s violence. No matter the origin of his psychological abnormality, he chose to live in that emotionless void because he felt safe there. The mental clarity it granted had enabled him to grasp for the power that he needed to survive.
I understood that all too well. I’d arranged for my own brother to be murdered so that I could attain enough power to survive.
Stefano continued to pet me, his touch never faltering despite his displeasure with my emotional state. The fine lines around his eyes drew deep, and his mouth twisted in a grimace. “I’m sorry, kitten. I never want you to be afraid of me. I want you to feel safe.”
He expressed himself as he always did: I want. Everything in his world was framed within the context of his own desires, and I didn’t suspect that would ever change. He wasn’t capable of empathy, but he did care about me deeply enough that my moods affected him.
Stefano was ruthless in attaining anything he wanted. If he wanted me to be safe, I was certain he would do everything in his power to protect me. Did it matter if the impetus for that desire was inherently selfish?
If my safety and contentment pleased him, the end result was the same: I would be safe and content.
“I know you want me to feel safe,” I reassured him. “I believe you.” I lifted my hand to his face, brushing my fingers over his clenched jaw.
The tension eased from his features, and he blew out a sigh. “That’s good, kitten.”