I pressed my cheek directly against his heart, lulled by the strong, steady beat.
His long sigh held a hum of pleasure, and his thick fingers stroked my hair, cradling me against him. We were both fully satisfied to simply remain in the embrace, indulging in the sweet, intimate contact.
“I got something else delivered for you.” He dropped a kiss on my forehead before stepping back. He immediately captured my hand and led me toward the bedroom.
I followed eagerly, practically bouncing along beside him. The fizzy thrill incited by his constant surprises had become addictive, and I felt no shame that I was greedy for more. Lavishing me with gifts made Raúl happy, so why should I feel guilty for enjoying them?
When we reached the bedroom, he flicked his fingers imperiously at the massive bed. “Bend over.”
The throb at my core was edged with pain, but I complied without hesitation. My soreness from yesterday’s rough fucking paled in comparison to my hunger for him. Wet heat dampened my panties, and my nipples pebbled. The inside of my bra was exquisitely abrasive against the abused buds. The reminder of his cruel, ruthless seduction only added a dark, delicious layer to my lust.
I bent over the bed, bracing my forearms against the mattress. My back arched, and I spread my legs wide.
His low growl in response to my wanton invitation awoke a fluttering in my belly like dozens of butterflies. I watched him over my shoulder, my breaths quickening in anticipation as he slowly prowled toward me.
He paused at the nightstand, opening the drawer to retrieve something.
My pussy clenched at the prospect of another devious toy, but my excitement was drowned in dread when he pulled out a syringe.
I tensed, but I resisted the urge to scramble away. I trusted Raúl.
“What’s that?”
“A birth control shot.” His answer was little more than an offhand comment, and he didn’t even bother to meet my eye; he remained focused on the drug. “Sex will feel better for both of us without condoms.”
I jolted to my feet, whirling to face him. “Wait!”
He froze, and his blazing eyes snapped to mine. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want that.” My protest was immediate, my voice high and thin.
A vise tightened around my heart, crushing a piece of hope I didn’t know existed. I didn’t think this dream had survived the ravages of my long, torturous journey, but at some point during my time in Raúl’s protective custody, the spark had flickered back to life.
His heavy brows drew together, casting shadows over his luminous eyes. His jaw worked for several seconds, chewing over unspoken words.
“Surely, you don’t want to get pregnant.” The words were gravelly, barely intelligible.
The vise around my heart squeezed tighter, and the wrenching paid robbed my breath.
“I…I want a family.” My voice broke on the admission. “I’ve always wanted children. After leaving my own family behind…”
The shadows over his eyes deepened, transforming his stony face into a skull-like mask. “You cannot possibly want to have children with me. You can’t have children with me.”
This time, the increased pressure that wrapped around my heart in an iron band was for him. “Oh. I’m sorry, Raúl. I didn’t know. Are you—”
“Why the fuck would I be giving you a birth control shot if I was infertile?” His fists clenched at his sides, and he took a step toward me, syringe in hand.
I scrambled away, and something crumpled inside me. “You’re not… You’re not going to give me a choice?” I choked on the ashes in my mouth.
His massive body rocked back as though I’d punched him in the jaw. His chest heaved, and his arms flexed at his sides. Shadows still hid his eyes from me, and I hated the loss of their warming light on my face.
A snarl rent the air between us, and he flung the syringe to the ground. Without another word, he turned sharply and stalked away from me. He couldn’t slam the ruined bedroom door between us, but a few seconds later, I heard the door to his whiskey and cigars room rattle on its hinges with the force of his entry. The boom of the barrier dropping between us hit me like a physical force, and I flinched at the impact.
I hugged my arms tightly to my chest, as though I could prevent myself from shattering into a million pieces.
The rest of the day passed in long, achingly slow hours. I’d sat in the garden, but my hands did nothing useful. At some point, I’d simply given up and laid down on the grass, yearning for the sun to warm the chill from my bones.
I kept my dry, itching eyes closed—I’d long ago run out of tears.
At first, I’d cried because Raúl had intended to give me the birth control shot without even asking if I wanted it.