We’ve crossed a line today. There’s no going back. Wanting to even the playing field for Cara, I admit, “I was a coward.”
Minutes tick by where neither of us moves. Every day she gets better at the touching thing, but I can see it still makes her uncomfortable.
Pulling back, I lower my hands to my thighs, and then I take a deep breath. I need Cara to trust me again, and the only way for that to happen is if she knows who I am.
“I ran away from home and joined the military, thinking I could get away from my father. I was eighteen and stupid. I threw myself into the military, learning everything I could. I avoided going home.”
Cara sits down beside me, and then she surprises me by resting her cheek against my shoulder.
Another win.
“When I didn’t feel like a coward anymore…” I pause and suck in a deep breath, “it was too late. I got the call that my girlfriend had committed suicide. I didn’t think for one minute when I left, he’d go after her.”
Cara keeps quiet, and it makes it easier to say the words. “It was the first time I killed someone. I told myself afterward I’d never take a life in anger again. I killed my own father, and I told myself he deserved to die because he was an animal.”
Cara places a comforting hand on mine, and it gives me the strength to continue. “I cleaned up the mess he left behind and disappeared. I tried to make up for failing Leah by helping others. I rid the world of the scum that thrived on preying on others, and if it makes me a monster, then so be it.”
When Cara doesn’t pull away, seeming to accept what I’ve told her, I lift an arm and wrap it around her shoulders. Pulling her right against my side, I press my mouth to her hair, taking a deep breath of her naturally soft scent.
Christ, I just want to hold her. I want to keep this fragile woman because she’s the only fucking beauty left in this life.
“That’s who I am, Cara. Now you know everything about me.”
CARA
I don’t move a muscle or say a word because Damian’s finally opening up to me.
I turn a blind eye to what he is, a cleaner, and to many, it may seem horribly wrong, but to me, it’s justice on behalf of those who’ve been wronged.
When the silence stretches around us, I know he’s done talking. I pull back and whisper the words he’s said to me countless times before, “I have you. You’re safe with me.”
It’s my turn to be the strong one, and it helps divert my attention away from my own pain.
“Remove the shirt,” I order, and I swear I hear him chuckle softly.
I scoot to the side and watch as he pulls the fabric over his head. Then he just sits and looks at me. “Well, you aren’t going to sleep in your jeans and shoes, are you?” I repeat his words from last night.
This time he lets out a bark of laughter. It’s short and unbelievably hot. I can’t help but smile back at him.
Moving to the left side of the bed, I know I’m taking a huge risk, but he’s shown me I can trust him by opening up to me.
Damian keeps his pants on as he lies down next to me. He slips his arm under my head and then pulls me closer to him. His body curls around mine just like it did this morning, and then he rests his chin on top of my head.
“Thank you,” he whispers, sounding as exhausted as I feel.
Closing my eyes, I absorb the safety I feel when I’m with him.
God, how am I going to make it out there if I have to go out on my own?
Damian didn’t say how long I could stay with him.
Also, I’m not sure how I feel about whatever’s happening between us. With every passing day, we keep growing closer to each other.
I’m in no way ready for a relationship.
I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.
It would be unfair for me to stay, knowing there’s nothing I can offer Damian in return.
My heart sinks because I know the time for me to leave is drawing near. I’ll have to start making plans to leave.
I’ll have to hide it from Damian because I’m unsure if he’ll just let me walk away.
God, it’s going to be hard.
Chapter 15
CARA
I keep myself busy as much as I can. I haven’t seen Damian since this morning, so I guess he’s up in his office working.
I heat up dinner, but there’s still no sign of Damian, so I eat mine while standing at the back door.
I finish up and then head upstairs to shower. I’ve just changed into a pair of slacks and a t-shirt when Damian knocks on the door.