I’ve heard people use those words a million times in a million different ways and until now never knew that it was an actual thing, a real ache. But watching her little face with equal parts wonder and sadness made me feel it for the first time, and not for the first time I wondered why her? Why of all the people I’ve met and ignored, she was the one to get under my skin?
By the time I drove her home later that night, she seemed in deep contemplation, so there was no need for conversation. I’m still working out the kinks, learning how to navigate around the shit in my head, so her silence was welcomed. I walked around to help her down from the truck when we pulled into her driveway. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow. The phone is still unlocked, so call me if you need me.”
I didn’t walk her to the door but watched until she disappeared inside. I sat out there for I don’t know how long or what I expected, but when there were no raised voices reaching me outside, I figured it was safe for me to leave. That, too, left a foreign feeling in my gut.
I was halfway back to the house when I made a sharp turn and headed in the opposite direction, heart racing and something new growing in my gut. I’d almost reached my destination when I saw headlights coming up behind me. Lance! What the heck does he want? I’d left him back at the house saying his goodbyes and expected him to be halfway home by now.
I didn’t change course just kept driving to the school’s parking lot. “Why are you following me?” We met between the two vehicles. If Pop had put him up to it, he wouldn’t have been so obvious; besides, Pop’s spy squad was hiding across the street.
Not sure how the cops haven’t picked them up by now as much as they drive through the streets with their lights off. I could take it easy on them, make their jobs a little bit easier, so they didn’t have to break the law, but where’s the fun in that?
“I wasn’t planning to until I saw you head away from home.” I released a breath and headed for the building at a jog. Neither of us spoke until we were inside, headed for her locker.
“Why are we here again?”
“Something you said earlier sparked a memory.”
“What the hell did I say that made you want to commit B and E?”
“Shut up!” I popped the lock on her locker and felt my pulse race again as I saw the sketch pad inside.
Ruffling through the pages, I found what I was looking for. “What’s that?” Lance looked over my shoulder.
“I think it’s her mother’s perfume.” The bottle had a very detailed and intricate design, but there were no words, which meant she’d forgotten the name since most artists of her caliber would’ve added every little detail.
“It kinda looks like a perfume bottle. How’re we gonna find it?”
“We’re not. I am.” I used my watch to snap a photo of the drawing before replacing the book. “Let’s go.” I could see he had something to say but was trying hard to hold it in. “What is it?” I regretted asking the question as soon as I saw the impish light come into his eyes and that twist to his lips.
“So, you’re doing this because…?”
“Because I want to.” Jackass!
“Good enough!” He had mercy and left me the hell alone.
“Later!” I hopped in my ride once we made it back outside and went home to get to work on her shit again. I spent the whole night into the early morning trying to find the bottle and felt a huge sense of achievement when I finally did.
Shalimar vintage! I searched and found it online at a perfumery in Paris and rush ordered only one for now just in case I was wrong. I was more excited about her presumed reaction than was warranted, but whatever. I also need to come up with an idea of how to give it to her without revealing the fact that I’d been in her book.
The next day was Friday, and I woke hours later feeling better than I have in a long time. I was actually looking forward to the weekend though my excitement was more for her than myself. Breakfast was the same noisy mess it always is, but I missed her. It already felt like she should be here with us.
“What goosed, you brother?”
“What?” I turned to look at Anna.
“You just shivered!”
“Eat your eggs!” She shared a look with her sister before going back to weekend planning. Nothing I like more than giving my sisters fodder for their bullshit. There’s something very shifty going on in my house, and it seems like everyone else is in on it but me. I noticed it last night at the dinner table, but it went right over my head since I’d been too preoccupied with the stuff Lance had told me.