With my quick wit and the fact that I’m not afraid of hard work, I was sure I could make my way eventually. I’d been saving my pay ever since I started working here.
That’s why I’d been sleeping in the shed. Before that I would find a mission or church door to sleep in. My aim to save as much as I could before the baby begun to show.
I knew time was running out too and it wouldn’t be long before I had to leave. But with what I’d saved so far I might be able to get a small place for me and the baby. I have it all planned out in my head. I will become a widow who’d lost her husband with a baby on the way. People tend to be more accepting of that than and unwed mother.
But now his kindness has confused my mind. I know very well what he wants from me. I haven’t missed the secret looks when he thinks I’m not looking. And it’s hard to miss the way he takes care of me. But was it enough?
It didn’t take me long to come to the right answer. Once I stopped thinking with my head and listened to what I was feeling. And not just my body. A body that I had thought long dead to feelings of desire of any kind.
There had been such hate and sorrow in my heart for so long now, that I had thought they would be my companions until death. I never expected that all it would take is a show of genuine kindness. Someone who kept watch over me when I didn’t even know I needed it.
I’d spent my nights in the stables half awake, too afraid to fall asleep, to leave myself exposed. But since he’d brought me here I get to sleep in a nice bed and the way he feeds me you’d think he was feeding an army.
But the thing that I think made me truly open my eyes and look at him, is the pregnancy books. He’d hidden them away from me and when I first came across them I thought maybe he’d bought them to give to me later, and then I found the pages he’d marked and read what was there.
It was all about how to take care of an expectant mother. What was good for her and the child. After that day I watched everything he did, even when he sat silently in his chair.
And so the days became easier, so easy that I’d sometimes forget who we were. And then I grew afraid. Afraid that I’d let my guard down and my heart would break after I leave. I’d come to depend on him too much without realizing.
And so I made up my mind to leave this place before it was too late. It was a beautiful dream imagining I could marry him, but I knew it would never be. He and I were worlds apart, and I’d seen and heard enough to know I wouldn’t be easily accepted.
And so to do him a service, I packed my bags and waited for the darkness of night to make my escape.
DRACO
Something’s wrong! I can sense it. All-day, she’s been jumpy, and that’s only when she wasn’t staring off into space like she had the world’s energy crisis on her mind. And the look in her eyes, the light had dimmed in her eyes, and her face was sullen.
I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, and I knew there was no point in asking. I knew no one had troubled her because I’m with her damn near every second, so it had to be her past.
I paced my room as the rest of the house slept. Outside, the window was dark, only the bare branches of the trees swaying gently against the dark sky. There was an unsettled feeling in my gut that refused to leave.
I decided to go check on her. I usually stay away unless she cries out in her sleep. Then I sit with her for the rest of the night, watching over her. But I always try to give her her privacy unless she needs me. Tonight I’m just gonna go check on her and hope she doesn’t wake up screaming.
I left my room next door and almost had a heart attack when I found hers open. I rushed into the room, expecting that we’d been caught, but she wasn’t there. I checked the en suite bathroom, thinking she was sick. And then I saw the note on the unmade bed.
I didn’t even pick that shit up. I just took off running down the stairs and out the door. I was thinking as I ran. No doubt she didn’t leave me a note and went back to the barn, so that could only mean she was leaving.