I’m out of breath by the time I open the door. Fuck, I’m out of shape. I can’t even remember the last time I worked out, not unless you count running food from the kitchen to the dining room.
But that was a long time ago.
A chill runs down my arms as I approach what looks like a greenhouse lit by tons of tiny white lights. River stands outside the door with his back to me, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket.
“I got your note.”
River turns around. He lets out a deep breath, his focus on his shoes as I stop in front of him.
“My brother’s busy with those girls.” I shake my head. “Thanks for inviting me up here. It’s beautiful.”
My heart hammers in my chest, making it impossible for me to catch my breath. We’re alone tonight, which terrifies me. A long, awkward silence passes between us.
“I hate myself,” River says in a hushed tone that’s filled with pain.
“Why?”
His eyes lift to meet mine. “Because I’m an asshole for sneaking around behind Ollie’s back.”
“I can walk away and forget you asked me to meet you here. I won’t say anything to my brother.”
River clasps my wrist and a wave of fire dances along my skin from the simple connection between us. I inch closer, taking in the scent of the cloves on his breath and his spicy cologne that I have committed to memory over the years. His eyes look glassy when the moonlight hits them.
He looks at me with a blank expression, completely unreachable.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
“You,” he says without hesitation.
I’m dying on the inside, my heart ready to explode.
River stares up at the starless sky. “Have you ever thought about something so much you can see it in your future?”
I don’t know where he’s going with this question, but I play along. “I saw my restaurant happening before I even finished cooking school.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes now fixed on me. “You drive me fucking crazy, Emma. You’re all I can think about. And now that you’re single, for the first time in years, I can’t stop wondering if we could have a future.”
I gasped at his confession.
“You make me feel things…” River pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers and groans. “Things I’ve never felt for another woman. Maybe it’s because I had to wait years for you… or the fact you constantly push me away. But I’ve thought a lot about you, Emma. And after that kiss, I only want you more.”
“You’re serious about me? Dates. Flowers. A real relationship. Not just sex.”
He nods and then pulls me closer, digging his fingers into my hip. “I want to do all of that with you. Give me a chance. I’m not a bad guy. I have a bit of a rep, but I’m done with that shit.”
“What about Oliver? He’ll kill you if he finds out.”
River gives me one of his boyish grins that causes my heart to skip a beat. “Kiss me.”
I stand on my tippy toes and lean forward, my hand on his chest, and then his lips crash into mine. River runs his fingers down my forearm, causing the tiny hairs to stand at attention. Everywhere our skin meets leaves a trail of fire in its wake.
“I want to taste every inch of you,” he says between kisses, sucking my lip into his mouth.
“River, we’re on the roof. This isn’t the time or the place for that.”
He clutches my waist and pulls me to his chest. I attempt to break free from his grasp, but my desire to fight him only causes him to tug harder at my jacket.
I wish I could find the courage to pull away from him. He makes me weak. He makes me want to do stupid things. For one night, I want to kiss River and find comfort in him.
He raises his hand to caress my cheek. “You’re beautiful, Emma.”
I smile at his compliment.
He kisses me again. “When I get back from my game, we’re doing something together.”
I raise my eyebrow, suspicious. “Like a date?”
River kisses my lips, then my forehead. “It’s a surprise.”
Emma
River showed me a completely different side to him. After he kissed me like he wanted to steal my breath away, we sat at the edge of the roof and looked up at the stars. We spent two hours in each other’s arms, kissing and talking about all sorts of things.
I didn’t know what he saw in me, why he was trying so hard to be a different man. Like my brother, he usually stuck to puck bunnies. Over the years, I’d seen him with models. Beautiful woman, all of them thinner, prettier, and with much bigger boobs than me. Yet, he’s pursuing me, acting as if he wants something real.