Very, very sexy.
The feminist in me was not proud of herself for feeling that way. The woman in me could not wait to see what he might do next. Every time he took my arm, or leaned in close, it felt as if my body might go up in flames.
He had that much of an impact on me.
“DO you like these?” He asked, pointing to a pair of sky high Mary Janes.
“I doubt I could get far in those.”
“Hmmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Good point. Maybe for only when I am with you.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I can protect you. Carry you if you need to run,” he said flatly, before giving an odd, somehow secretive smile. “And because I like them.”
A salesperson approached and he asked him for the shoes in my size, then pointed out a few other pairs, and ‘anything else he thought might suit’.
I dutifully tried them all on, protesting the entire time. He ignored me completely, though he paid plenty of attention to my legs, having me walk and spin for his approval. There was a look of pure male admiration in his eyes that warmed me to my core, at the same time it set off alarm bells.
Very loud alarm bells.
This is dangerous, I told myself. Don’t start wanting to please him. Don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands.
“Anything else, sir?” The fawning sales girl asked, practically batting her eyelashes at him. “Anything at all?”
I almost rolled my eyes. In fact, I did. It was gratifying to notice that Michael completely ignored her. She was very pretty, truth be told.
But I wasn’t jealous. I wasn’t with him. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He was my unwilling guardian.
Though he did seem a fair bit more willing recently, if I was honest with myself. Something had changed between us. He was almost… flirting with me.
And I was way, way out of my depth with a sophisticated man like Michael.
“Yes, please,” he said, and she brightened, turning on her sparkle even more. “Can you direct me to the lingerie department?”
“What? No. I have… all of those things.”
“Please, we barely got started. And I think we forgot nightgowns…”
He took my arm and steered me towards the direction the sales lady pointed to.
Chapter Thirteen
Michael
The girl standing beside me was literally vibrating with embarrassment. Meanwhile, I was having the absolute time of my life. I couldn’t have told you why exactly.
It was highly erotic, buying her things, especially lingerie. But it was more than that. I felt good. Proud of myself for looking after her. Taking care of her, as if she was mine.
And her discomfort was delicious to me. Her innocence was intoxicating. Pushing her buttons, and her boundaries, was like a drug. I looked forward to breaking down those walls, and making her blush every time I took things a little further.
I wondered idly if her whole body would blush, when I finally took her to my bed and did all the filthy things I simply could not stop imagining. Even now, in the middle of an upscale department store, I wanted to bury my face between her legs and make her call out my name. I wanted to make her beg.
I wanted her absolution.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t just want this girl. I needed something from her. I needed to prove that I could be good enough for her. I needed her to see me, not just the head of the family, not just as her guardian. I wanted her to see me as a man. The man I could be. I wanted to know her and be known in return.
And I was in a whole heap of trouble.
“We’ll take this, this, and this. Let me right down her measurements,” I rattled off the numbers I had learned at the last place we had shopped for intimates. Then I went through the store, ruthlessly chosing what I wanted to see her in. Lacy, sheer nightgowns, sexy barely there lingerie better suited for a honeymoon than a graduate student, and a few things that were outrageously expensive but could be considered ‘day to day’ panties and bras.
“Stop,” she said softly. “Please stop.”
But I didn’t. Not until I’d bought half the things for sale. Not until she was pale and trembling. Even the sales girl looked stunned.
“Can we go now?”
“Pick something out. One thing,” I instructed her. I watched stonily as she found a set of flannel pajamas in black watch plaid. She carried it to the register and set them down, not looking at me.
I paid for everything and took her arm, guiding her outside to the waiting limo. I wasn’t particularly gentle as I put her inside, then climbed in after her.
I stared at her the entire ride home, watching as she avoided looking at me. I was a beast. I was a monster.