“Just pretend like all this means something. Pretend like it’s not all bullshit,” he says.
I hold his gaze for a long moment, something deep inside of me pulsing, as though my instincts are telling me to ask him more, to help cure whatever darkness has taken root inside of him.
But then he looks down, I turn away, and the moment passes.
It’s a long, tiring day, and I’m glad when I can make my way down the winding corridors of the mall to the storage closet people rarely visit. I glance over my shoulder as I creep down, making sure no one is following me.
My heart always pounds heavily until I’m inside the closet, a broomstick propped against the door, and my makeshift bed on one side. Once inside I can close my eyes and pretend I’m someplace safe, someplace that really feels like a home. And not a freaking storage closet.
I hold the cash Mr. Sullivan gave me at the end of the day, clasping it tightly in my hand.
My whole body is still tingling and on edge from the day spent playing an elf, sneaking looks over at Nick every chance I got.
At lunch, he took off his beard to eat a sandwich, and something inside of me sparkled and erupted at the sight of his strong jaw and his handsomely rugged face.
But he didn’t look at me once. And after that first conversation, we didn’t speak again.
He kept looking over at the food court, at the biker types who took over a corner for themselves, sitting there laughing loudly. Every now and then others would come and visit the bikers, exchanging money and small packages. Dealing drugs out in the open.
Finally, I push the door to the storage closet open, gasping when I find someone sitting on my bed in the dark.
I switch on the light to find Kenny sitting there, his mop of brown hair hanging down around his face. My little brother – eighteen years old, younger by a year – is still wearing his janitor’s uniform.
He’s got tears in his eyes and his fists are clenched.
“Kenny, what is it?” I rush forward, past the shelves of cleaning supplies, to the little makeshift cot – basically a pallet with sleeping bags and pillows. “What’s wrong?”
“I saw them today, in the food court,” he says, his voice bitter.
“So did I,” I murmur.
“It’s not fair. They get to just come here and—”
“It’s okay.”
I reach down and grab onto his shoulders, pulling him close to me, as he lets out a sobbing noise.
Kenny is taller than me, wiry and thin, and yet when I wrap my arms around him I feel like he’s a little kid again. He was smaller than me right up until he hit puberty, and it’s difficult not to think of him as that little kid.
Suddenly the door swings open and someone is standing over us, looming, his ragged breaths filling the small room like an engine.
I gasp when I turn to see Nick standing there, in the baggy Santa’s outfit without the fake belly, beard, or the Santa hat. His silver streaked hair glinting in the low light and his jaw is tight, his eyes filled with feral fury as he glares down at us.
No, at Kenny.
“Don’t fucking touch her,” Nick snarls. “Keep your hands off of her.”
Chapter Three
Nick
I’ve never felt anything like this before, the all-consuming need to make Natalie mine. It rose inside of me throughout the day, getting louder and more difficult to ignore as I watched her strut around.
She wasn’t doing it on purpose, but she had a way of moving in those tight green pants that set a flame inside me. It was hotter because I could tell she wasn’t doing it on purpose. She was being herself, sometimes letting out short snippets of a song without even realizing it.
“Are you a singer?” I asked during some downtime.
She glanced at me with those shy eyes and then quickly turned away from me as though she thought I was going to mock her for it. “Yes, at least… I want to be one day.”
I almost roared at her right then that I’d help her chase her dreams. I’d help her become everything she wants to be. But it probably wouldn’t mean much coming from a mall Santa.
So why the hell did I follow her?
It’s my instincts, my primal feral claim-her instincts, telling me to make sure she’s safe, make sure nothing bad is going to happen to her. Plus I was curious about why she was headed toward the back, not toward the public exit.
And then I peeked into the storage closet and saw her embracing this man.
Something snapped inside of me, my resolve shattering, as my beast emerged.
My chest heaves now as I stand over them both, glaring down at the young man with curly brown hair and wide terrified eyes.