By me.
“I thought since we’re going to be together forever, the least I can do is buy you dinner. So, tacos or pizza?”
She giggles as she sits down, looking up at me with those bright alluring eyes of hers, eyes I will never tire of gazing into. “Look at Santa, pulling out all the stops. Um, I’ll have pizza, please. But no pineapple. That’s sacrilege.”
I bare my teeth in something like a smile. “Okay, so extra pineapple coming up.”
I leave our table and head over to the pizza place.
The mall is thirty minutes from closing, almost completely empty now except for the staff and a few customers.
I can’t help but think about how crazy it is that Natalie and I are able to joke with each other after what we just shared. But that’s the way it is with us.
Maybe it’s not Christmas magic at all. Maybe it’s just Natalie-Nick magic.
Returning with our pizzas – a meat feast and a vegetarian – I sit down and quirk my eyebrow at her.
“I hope you’re not pissed with me. You know, for not telling you I was a cop right away.”
“Don’t worry,” she replies, with a teasing note of banter that’s like hot cocoa on a Christmas morning, sweet, inviting, perfect, and all mine. “I know you were just method acting, really trying to get into the Santa role.”
“Oh yeah?” I chuckle, tearing a slice of meat feast free. “And how did I do?”
“I’d give you six out of ten.”
I laugh again. “So generous, my little elf. Well, I’d give you ten out of ten for your elf performance. But only because you looked so damn good in those leggings.”
There’s a pause and our eyes meet, silently agreeing that we need to discuss the Terrence situation, but I can also tell neither of us wants to.
We’d rather sit here and eat pizza in the shadow of the mall’s giant Christmas tree – a couple of them, anyway – with the lights glittering down on us, pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
“So,” I say, after a mouthful of pizza. “I think it’s time we asked the most important question of all.”
“Oh?” A note of anxiety flutters into her voice, as though she’s not ready to face whatever I’m going to say. “And what’s that?”
I smirk, letting her know the time for seriousness has passed, at least for the moment. It’s like we’re fighting off the grim reality of our situation, pushing away the nastiness and the darkness, so we can simply enjoy being together.
But hell, isn’t that what Christmas is all about?
“How did you get so good at singing?”
She giggles and reaches across the table, slapping me on the arm. I savor the feel of the contact even after she’s taken her hand away, the phantom impression of her palm sizzling against my skin.
“You jerk. I thought you were going to say something super serious then.”
“Well?” I ask, arching an eyebrow. “Don’t keep me in suspense, my perfect elf.”
“I used to sing when I was young, younger than I can remember. My mother wanted to be a singer so she put me in classes. And then, when I got old enough to decide if I wanted to keep it up, I did. It was like an escape, disappearing into song. I didn’t have to think about anything else.”
“And after?” I ask quietly, my voice rough and filled with hate for the bastards who would dare to hurt my woman’s parents.
She knows what I’m talking about without having to ask. Her parents’ deaths.
“I stopped for about a year, but then one day I was helping Kenny tie his shoes for school and I just started singing again. He smiled for the first time since mom and dad… he smiled. And that meant a lot to me. So I kept singing.”
“Where do you want to take it?” I ask.
She shrugs, letting out a long breath. “Heck, I don’t know. I’ve never really given it that much thought.”
I nod. “That’s understandable. You’ve had a lot of other shit going on. But I want you to know, Natalie, I’ll support you wherever you decide to take it. I may be a cop but…”
“What?” she says when I trail off.
The old defenses rise inside of me, the same ones which have warned me away from sharing too much every time I’ve almost tell somebody about my financial situation. But I’ve never felt for anyone how I feel for Natalie, not even close, not even close to close.
We’re going to be together.
She deserves to know.
“I’ve got the finances to help you pursue your dreams. I can make it so you don’t have to work a dead end job. You definitely don’t have to live in a goddamn mall. I can help you, Natalie. I can make everything better.”