“She’s determined she’s going to get you moved into a house.”
“I can see that.”
“She’s pigheaded,” he adds.
“I can see that too.”
“You got a little bit of that pigheaded thing going on too,” he says.
“I know that.”
“She’s used to getting her way.” He shrugs. “Except with Pop. He usually wins.”
“He always did.”
Jake chuckles. “So you really don’t want to move into one of the cabins?”
I heave in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Jake…” I don’t know how best to explain it. “I spent five years locked up in a small room with bars on the windows and doors. They let me out to walk around twice a day. I got to work out, and I read books. I didn’t get to do much else. So for right now, I’d like to be in charge of my own life. When I want a house, I’ll either get my own house or I’ll come and ask you for a cabin.” I stare hard at him but there is no animosity, just a desire for understanding. “Does that settle it?”
“So it’s not because you don’t feel worthy?” he asks. “That’s what Katie’s afraid of, that you’re feeling so guilty about what happened that you refuse to do anything nice for yourself.”
“Self-flagellation is really not my thing,” I say.
Jake grins and scratches his head.
I laugh out loud. “I don’t live in the tent so I can torture myself because I’m unworthy of comfort,” I explain. “I live there because I like the freedom. I like doing whatever the fuck I want. And right now, today, I want to live in a motherfucking tent.” I smile as I say it, and he does too, so I’m pretty sure I didn’t offend him.
“Doesn’t get much plainer than that.” Jake dusts his hands together like he’s done with this.
I close up my ladder and hitch it over my shoulder. “I’m going to mow that field now.”
He nods. But he’s still staring at me.
“If it makes her feel any better, you can tell her my happiest memories are from times spent in a tent. And when I finally do spend time with my son, he’s going to love that tent as much as I did at that age. And no, I don’t plan to make him live in a tent full time. But it’s not going to hurt him to vacation with me in a tent.”
“S
o you do plan to bring him here.”
“I’d like to.”
“The boys have a game this weekend.”
“I heard.”
“Are you going?”
“I’m still thinking about it.” I don’t know if the kids on Mitchell’s team know that his dad killed his mom in a tragic accident that was all his dad’s fault. If they don’t already know, I don’t want to throw it in their faces as a tool they can use against him.
“He already told all the kids on the team that you’re coming to watch his game this weekend,” Jake suddenly blurts out.
“Did he, now?”
“He did. So if you want to ride with us, you can.”
I smile and shake my head. “I can get myself there just fine. But thank you.”
“Katie’s going to try to mother you,” he warns. “She mothers everybody.”