sat silently and listened the rest of the time.” He nods like he’s reassuring himself. “I think she’ll be okay.”
“Not much she can do about it otherwise, is there?” I toss out.
“Nope. Trust me. I’ve tried.”
“What did you try?”
“I researched all the chemical trials that are going on. I didn’t qualify for any of them. I saw three different doctors at three different hospitals and they all had the same opinion. In the end, I’m supposed to die from this, and those are the cards I’ve been dealt. Now I can either enjoy the game or I can throw a fit about the fact that I’m going to lose it someday. I choose the former.” Suddenly, he nudges me hard in the arm with his elbow. “So,” he says loudly, and he glares at me, his eyes wide.
“So…what?” I ask, my voice filled with petulance.
“You and Eli were looking pretty chummy when you walked up tonight.”
Heat creeps up my face. “Stop it,” I say, and I look over his shoulder to be sure no one can hear us. “We did not.”
“You guys were laughing. And he kissed you.”
“He kissed my cheek, you big dummy.” I elbow him so hard that it shoves him over a couple of feet.
“And you didn’t even slap him. You just blushed like you used to do when you were sixteen and he was within ten feet of you.”
I suck in a gasp of abject horror. “I never blushed!” I point my index finger at him. “You shut your stupid face right now or I’ll shut it for you.”
He falls over because he’s laughing so hard it hurts his stomach. “Oh, my God, it’s like we’ve gone back in time! You just told me to shut my stupid face!” He cackles and clutches his stomach, rocking forward, unable to catch his breath.
I grin more to myself than to him and I try to bite it back but can’t. “I hate you so much.”
He lifts his foot and kicks me in the behind with it. “You love my stupid ass, even if you don’t want to.”
Silence settles over us and Aaron says nothing for a minute.
“Hey, Bess…”
I reach over and turn off the water. “Hey, Aaron,” I parrot.
He rolls his eyes. He waits a beat. “Do you believe in heaven?” he asks.
Ouch. I think about it, wondering how much honesty is too much. “Truthfully, I don’t know, Aaron. I’d like to.”
“So,” he says slowly, drawing out the word, “where do you think Lynda is right now, if you’re not sure about heaven?” He pretends to be really engrossed in drying a plate, but it has been dry for the past five minutes.
“I feel Lynda all around us all the time. I see her in the beautiful smiles of your children every day. When Sam grins, she looks just like her mother. Lynda’s light shone so brightly, Aaron, that I don’t think that even death can dim a light like hers. And her light continues to shine on you and through you, and when you’re gone, it’ll shine on and through your children, and on and through everyone who knew her. She’ll never be gone, and neither will you, you fucking nitwit.” My voice cracks on that last bit.
“You suck at consoling people, just so you know,” he says to me.
I jerk the plate he’s still drying from his hands and put it away. “Do you want me to console you, Aaron? If that’s what you need, tell me. I’d do just about anything for you. So if you want me to try to make you feel better about the cards you were dealt, I will. Or I can continue to treat you like the jackass you are.” I grin at him, even though I desperately want to cry.
He leans forward and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’d rather you be exactly who you are. Every day, all day.”
“I’ll make sure you stay alive for them, Aaron, if that’s what you’re worried about. There won’t be a holiday or a special occasion where you’re not mentioned. Lynda too, although I never liked her as much as I like you. I only tolerated her for your sake.” I laugh as he pretends to attack me. “I’m kidding!” I screech, and duck to run away. I spin and run straight into someone’s hard chest. Strong arms reach out and steady me and hold me tightly but tenderly.
“What are you two doing?” Eli asks. He looks from me to Aaron and back. His brow furrows. He jerks his thumb toward the back deck. “Do I need to call Mr. Jacobson in here to make you two straighten up?” He puffs out his chest. “I’ll do it!” he says. “I will. Just try me!”
“We’ll behave,” Aaron and I say at the same time, which makes me snort out a laugh. Like, a real snort. Embarrassed, I cover my mouth with my hand when I realize what I’ve done.
“You snorted,” Aaron says as he points at me.
“Yeah, well, you had better watch it,” I warn. “Next time, I’ll fart on you.”