“Cecelia,” he said. He smiled at her, but he didn’t rush across the room to come to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Claire leave the room quietly.
“You can’t even look me in the eye, can you?” he asked. “Do you hate me?”
Did she? Maybe a little. She didn’t answer.
He rushed on to say, “It’s all right if you do. I wouldn’t blame you. You have every reason.”
She nodded, biting her lower lip between her teeth.
“I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.” He crossed the room to stand in front of her. “God, you look so much like your mother it hurts.”
Tears threatened to spill over Cecelia’s lashes. “I can’t help that.”
He rushed to shush her. “I wouldn’t change it for anything.” He took a deep breath. “I was angry at her for leaving. And I was angry at myself for not protecting her.”
“And me? Why were you angry at me, Papa?”
“I was angry at you because you wouldn’t let me fall into a hole and die, Cecelia. You gave me a shadow of a reason to live. And I didn’t want to. I wanted to die. I wanted to go with your mother. I wanted to leave.”
“You wanted to leave me?” she asked.
“You’re the only thing that kept me here, Cece,” he adm
itted. “You’re the only thing.”
He touched her hand tenderly, cautiously, as though he was afraid she would jerk away. She still might. She didn’t trust him. She didn’t trust that he would stay away from spirits for the rest of his life. She didn’t trust that he would be the father she’d once known.
“I love you, Cecelia,” he said. “And I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I hope you’ll let me be a part of your life and let me share in it.”
“Marcus wants to marry me,” she said cautiously.
He nodded. “He’s not good enough for you,” her father said.
It was almost as though a hand reached into her chest and squeezed her heart. “You can’t possibly say no.”
He chuckled. “I would never keep you from that lad,” he said. The pressure in her chest eased. “But I stand by my comment. He’s not good enough for you, because no one will ever be good enough for you. Ever.” He chuckled again. “But as sons-in-law go, I suppose I could do worse.”
She smiled a watery smile at him. He was feeling protective of her, was he? He hadn’t felt like that in a very long time.
He took her chin in his hand and tipped it up. “I don’t expect forgiveness, and I’m not asking for it. All I want is a chance. Give me a chance to be your father.”
“You’ll always be my father.”
“I’ve always been your father. Now I want to be a good father.” He coughed into his fist, as though he needed to clear his throat. “For the first time in a very long time, I have something to live for. Let me live for you.”
She pressed a hand to his heart. “Live for you,” she said.
A knock sounded on the door, and Cecelia looked over to see Marcus with his head stuck through the door. “Everything all right in here?” he asked.
Her father looked down at her and asked, “Is it? Is it all right if I stay for a bit?”
She nodded.
“Thank God,” Marcus teased. “Because we were just about to call for the vicar. And I’d like to marry your daughter, Mr. Hewitt, if I have your blessing.”
Her father sobered. He looked down at Cecelia. “Would you consider waiting for a month?”
“A month? Why?” Marcus said calmly.