His eyes did that little dance again, looking everywhere but at her. He was adorable when he was feeling unsure.
“What can I do to repay you?”
Sophia tapped her chin and wondered aloud, “What can you do to repay me?” she crooned. “Anything?”
He smiled broadly. “Within reason.”
“Join the party for dinner tonight,” she blurted without even thinking.
He did that eyebrow raise again. “Me?” His hand flattened on his chest. “I do not partake of house-party festivities.”
“Why ever not?”
***
Because doing so would make his mother much too happy. “I just don’t,” he said instead. “No one really exp
ects me to.” He glanced toward where Anne had disappeared. She would return soon, hopefully with a tiny skein of blue embroidery thread in her hand. Her treasure.
Sophia sat down on a bench and smoothed her skirts with her hand. “Then I shall expect you to.”
“Permit me to be blunt, Sophia?” he asked as he sat down beside her. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and rested one arm behind her along the back of the bench. He wanted more than anything for her to lean in to him, to nestle herself in that little spot where his arm met his shoulder. He shook the thoughts away. They would get him nowhere.
“I’d ask no less of you.”
“When hell freezes over, I’ll attend my mother’s house party. And I sincerely doubt that will happen before the week is out.” He reached out a hand to adjust the collar of her dress at her shoulder. Then pulled it back with a grimace. “Apologies,” he murmured.
“For?” she asked, her delicate little brows drawing together.
“I find myself feeling much too familiar toward you at times. I take liberties I shouldn’t.” He lowered his arm from behind her and clutched his hands together in his lap. All the better to keep from touching her.
“One might think the lady would get some say over what liberties you can and cannot take. Did you hear me complain?” She laughed lightly.
“I could get used to having you around, Sophie,” he finally admitted on a heavy sigh.
“That is not a good thing,” she said, finally looking a little chagrined. “For we all know I cannot stay in your life. Here for a moment,” she said, looking around the garden. “Gone the next.”
Something told him it wouldn’t be that easy. She was making a mark in his life. One that wasn’t entirely comfortable. But a mark, none the less. And he liked it. “What if I told you that I want you to stay?” he asked. He wanted to bite the words back as soon as he said them. But he left them hanging there in the air, instead. Like a palpable living, breathing thing.
She reached out her delicate little hand to touch his cheek. “I would have to say no,” she said softly. “Don’t ask me why.”
He leapt to his feet. “I know why,” he said as he began to pace. It was difficult to keep the words from flowing. From pouring out his heart and soul. He hadn’t met a single person that he’d wanted to spill his soul to. Not until her. Not until now.
“No, you don’t,” she said. “You think you know. But you have no idea about my own reservations.”
“You don’t want to live with my past in your face any more than I do,” he spit out.
“Your past does not frighten me,” she said, her voice rising.
Anne dashed around the corner, her face lit with joy, holding her prize in the air. Sophia looked as composed as she ever did as she motioned Anne near her to see her treasure. “Can you hold it for me?” he heard Anne ask. “I think I know where the rest of it is.” His daughter dashed back into the garden.
“Ashley,” Sophia began hesitantly.
He held up a hand to stop her. “I’m wishing for things I can’t have.” He hated feeling like this. It was so… foreign. He hadn’t wanted anything in a very long time.
“So am I,” she said quietly.
What the devil did that mean? She could have him. She could have him begging at her feet with a toss of her hair. With a glint of her eye. With absolutely nothing at all, aside from that smile. That beautiful, beautiful smile that made him want to kiss her.