“I told her she had nothing to be ashamed of,” Emily goes on. “It’s not like she wanted her mother and her sister to die. It just happened. Her life got thrown off the tracks. That wasn’t her fault. She coped the best she could. She should be proud of that even if others aren’t.”
I frown because I hear the accusation in Emily’s voice.
“I never said I wasn’t proud of her,” I say in my defense. “I would have been if she had told me all this.”
If only she had told me at the very beginning, I would have hugged her. I would have offered her my condolences and then my support and my help. Yes, I would have been disappointed that her dreams got derailed, but I wouldn’t have been disappointed in her. I would have been disappointed for her. I wouldn’t have pushed her away.
“I told Jenna that, too,” Emily says. “I told her that if you loved her, you would accept her no matter what. But you know Jenna. She can be stubborn. And she was really scared.”
I don’t care. She still should have told me.
“She got even more scared when the two of you got back together. She started to feel that she wasn’t good enough for you. And she started worrying that other people would say the same.”
“What?”
“She worried that because you were rich and famous, people would say you deserved someone better.”
“Fuck that.”
I don’t give a damn what anyone else says.
“And she worried that they’d see her like one of your father’s lovers, only after you for money.”
My jaw clenches. This is Chloe’s fault.
“Of course, Jenna would never do that, even though God knows she needs money, especially with a baby.”
Shanna. Now I understand why Jenna cares so much about her.
“You know that, right?” Emily asks me.
I shake my head. “I’m not sure I even know her anymore.”
“What?” Emily’s eyebrows furrow in dismay. “What are you talking about, Dax? You know Jenna. Or are you saying you don’t want to have anything to do with her now that you know she’s not a NASA scientist?”
“It’s not that,” I tell her. “Jenna lied to me.”
“So? It’s not like you haven’t kept some things from her.”
“I didn’t lie to her face, though,” I say. “I didn’t make her lie for me by making her believe something I knew wasn’t true. Back at the ski resort, we ran into some people, important people, and I told them she was a NASA scientist. She didn’t say anything.”
“Did you give her a chance to say something?” Emily asks.
I don’t answer because I don’t remember.
“Even if you did give her a chance, what was she supposed to do? Just blurt out to your friends that she’s not who you’re proudly saying she is? Of course not.”
“So you’re saying she lied to protect me.”
“Let’s just say she lied,” Emily says. “Regardless of the reason, Jenna lied. It’s an offense, to be sure. What she did wasn’t right. But you seem to be forgetting that you broke her heart. You left Jenna behind and you weren’t anywhere near her when she was going through the hardest part of her life. Yet she somehow managed to keep loving you. She took you back. Yet you’re just throwing her away?”
Emily has a point. Jenna gave me another chance. I should give her one, too. If she wants one.
“I’m not throwing her away,” I tell Emily. “She wanted to break up with me, remember?”
“Like I said, she didn’t mean that. And I think you know it, too. That’s why you’re still sticking around.”
I shake my head. “That’s not – ”
Emily doesn’t give me a chance to speak. “She’ll come around. When she does, will you give her another chance? Then maybe the two of you can really start over.”
I don’t mind starting over. Again. At least, I wouldn’t if not for the big problem Emily and I haven’t discussed yet.
“Maybe I can forgive her for lying about her job,” I tell Emily. “But finding out that she had a baby while I was away? That’s a little harder to let go, don’t you think?”
Emily’s eyebrows crease. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, Emily, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“You mean Shanna?”
I ignore her and drink more of my coffee.
“You think Shanna is Jenna’s baby from another man? That she had a boyfriend who got her pregnant while you were away?”
I put my mug down. “I was away a long time.”
And Jenna is a lovely, smart woman, NASA scientist or not.
“Besides, she didn’t mention anything about not seeing anyone while we were apart.”
I was the only one who did. I realize that now.
I know Jenna and I weren’t together, but I still think it’s unfair. I was celibate. How could Jenna not have been? How could she have a child with another man? And she was so angry about Chloe just kissing me.