I frown. “That’s not why I left.”
“So tell me why,” Jenna demands. Then she draws a deep breath. “Please.”
I take a deep breath of my own. “Before my mother died, she had a request. She wanted me to go to my dad, to meet him, to learn from him. She said there was a lot he could teach me and that he had promised he would.”
He only taught me a little, though. I learned more from him on my own. He was as bad a teacher as he was a father.
“You’d never met him before?” Jenna asks.
“No.” I shake my head. “He and my mom weren’t married. My mom used to work for him. She was part of his security.”
“Really?” Jenna’s eyebrows arch. “She must have been badass.”
“She was,” I agree.
That’s why seeing her in pain, falling apart slowly but surely, was even more devastating.
“After she got pregnant, she left my dad. She raised me all on her own. She said it was her choice, but each time I saw how lonely she was, I hated my father for making her do it.”
“But you knew who he was?”
“Not for a long while. All my mom said was that he was a British businessman.”
I only found out his name when I was in high school, and when I googled it, I found a whole lot of other stuff, some of which I wish I didn’t know.
“Anyway, I went to meet him. I tried to learn business from him. I didn’t want to at first, but I realized it was something I could do. I tried to get along with him, too, but I failed. I couldn’t see what my mother saw in him.”
A womanizer. A master manipulator. A liar. A cheat. I don’t know how my mother could have found any of those attractive.
“So I left. I thought I’d done my part. My mother asked me to give my father a chance and I did. It’s not my fault he botched that chance. I took what I learned and I left. Some of the people who worked for him came with me. Apparently they found him despicable, too, and they believed I could achieve his success without resorting to his filthy tricks. They helped me establish my own company, find more allies. So far, I’ve done well, but I’m still trying to make it.”
Jenna nods. “So basically, you broke up with me to work with your father.”
“Not with him,” I correct. “Under him.”
Way under.
“To honor your mother’s deathbed request. But he was just the asshole you imagined and you couldn’t stand him so you stood up to him and you came back here.”
I shrug. “Pretty much. Except it felt worse.”
“I wish you had told me,” Jenna says. “I would have understood. I would have waited for you.”
“I didn’t know what was in store for me, Jenna. My mom had just died and my world was turned upside down. My future was unclear. Yes, I came back, but there was a chance I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to keep you waiting, hoping. You had your own life to live, your own future to seize.”
Jenna’s gaze drops to her lap. “So you didn’t want me to share your pain and you didn’t want me to wait for you because you thought that was good for me? Wow.”
Now that she put it that way, I realize how terrible it sounds. Fuck.
I touch my forehead. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”
“You did.”
I sigh. “I guess I don’t deserve another chance.”
Jenna says nothing. Her silence, however, speaks volumes.
I stand up. “I’ll go.”
I want to ask her to give me another chance anyway, but I promised I wouldn’t do that during this trip. Besides, I’ve already said everything she needs to know, told her everything I’ve been through. Now, it’s up to her to decide if she can deal with it or she’d rather not, if we can get over this or not. Now that she knows why I left, will she think I’m worth taking back?
Only Jenna can answer that.
Chapter Eight
Jenna
I don’t know.
As I look out the window at the falling snow, I realize I still don’t have a clue about what I’m supposed to do.
I haven’t left my room since Dax walked out, except when I grabbed a midnight snack from the kitchen. I stayed up most of the night thinking about what I should do about Dax, about us. I slept through the morning, and now here I am, still wondering about the next step to take.
Does Dax deserve another chance? Why should we start over when he ended us without consulting me first? Can I trust him not to make my decisions for me again?
Well, at least he’s letting me make the decision now. At least he’s finally decided to trust me and tell me what he’s been through. Sure, I wish he’d told me sooner, but only because I feel bad that I hadn’t done more for him. I can do something now. I can be the girlfriend that Dax needs.