Love isn’t about being strong.
Love is about allowing yourself to rely on others. Trusting them. Believing in them. Wanting them by your side. Being there for them.
Love is everything. You only realize when you think you’ve lost it forever and it comes back—to save you.
I see it now. Starting to understand. I had a beacon in the dark while I battled to survive. I had a reason to come back. Their voices, their touch brought me back, I’m sure of it.
Now there’s hope, and it burns bright.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Epilogue: Cookies with Nut Filling
Brylee
We have Ryan back.
I can’t believe how happy I am. How relieved I am. I was so frigging afraid back there for a while. The surgery went well, but a minor infection was enough to keep him in intensive care two days longer. Seeing him lost in nightmares, even when his eyes were open, scared the crap out of me.
Almost broke my heart.
It definitely broke my heart that he tried to spare us the pain of losing him by withdrawing. I now know that was the reason he kept me, us, at a distance for so long. I know that he’s been so lonely and hopeless. That he thought he had no future to plan for.
Riddick and I talked about this. It’s time to start making plans, with him. Gently forcing him to accept the fact he’s going to live. And live a full life. With all the perks, including love, and sex.
Yeah, sex.
I repeat the word in my head and I don’t care if I’m blushing. I need my guys. I need them around me, inside me, to become part of me.
Though they already are part of me.
When did this happen? It crept up on me, in small, light steps. I can’t remember realizing when I went from desperately chasing after Ryan and pushing Riddick away to wanting them and loving them both.
Knowing they want me and love me back is like walking among unicorn rainbows. In golden, late afternoon sunshine. Along a moonlight path on the sea at night.
They stood by me, fought to be with me and each other. Easing their pain and making them laugh makes me happy. I love my guys so much.
My guys. Wait until I tell Mom how things turned out. She won’t believe me.
Plus, I won’t deny that knowing they don’t care about my housekeeping skills and cooking is a relief.
In fact, Ryan said he doesn’t want a cook, he wants a girlfriend, which made Riddick snicker.
And Riddick said all he wants is my pussy, so I told him Fluff is all his.
I still laugh when Fluff jumps into his lap. He has to feed her, too.
Okay, afterward he said something else. He said, I don’t care about food, I don’t care about anything if I get to be with you.
Rid says such beautiful things. For a tattooed, rough boy, he’s such a poet at heart.
It turns out the heart has so many different beats and paths and meanings. I’d never realized until Ryan’s almost gave out. His patched heart.
His heart of gold.
And he says it’s ours.
***