I said that? “I did come to talk to you. I—”
“Did you have sex with them?”
I snap my mouth shut and examine my nail polish. It’s a bit chipped.
Dang.
“Bry…”
“No, I didn’t have sex.” I shake my head. “The hymen still holds strong.”
She snorts. “You mean you had other kinds of sex? With two guys at the same time?”
“How did you know it was with two? Did I give myself away by asking about threesomes?”
Now she chokes on her tea and I grab the mug before the rest of it ends up all over me. “Wait, you did? You’re not kidding?”
“Well, I didn’t expect you of all people to be shocked. You are the only person I know who is in a relationship with two dudes.”
“But… it’s you.”
I definitely am me, that’s true. Chipped nail polish and all. “Meaning?”
She waves her hands about.
Then waves them again.
“I can’t read Sign Language,” I tell her.
“You once told me that I was greedy, going after two guys! And that I should focus on one! And… and…”
“And I came to terms with it.” Didn’t we discuss this three minutes ago? “Besides, what does it have to do with sex?”
Candy opens her mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “I’m going to make more tea,” she announces, and scurries away to the kitchen.
Hormones. They drive you mad.
Adoption is the way to go.
***
“Sex…” Candy says, placing two fresh mugs of tea on the kitchen table where I followed her.
“Is a three-letter word,” I agree. “So it fits.”
“With what?”
“With threesomes.” I sit back smiling, not sure why this arithmetic symmetry pleases me.
Numbers. They never fail you.
“What exactly do you want to know?” She sits across from me. “By the way, who are the lucky guys? Tell me one of them is Riddick.”
My face is burning. “Yes, Riddick. And Ryan.” Another symmetry. R & R.
Like Candy’s boyfriends, J & J. Joel and Jethro.
But she doesn’t seem to find this promising. “Ryan? Really? Again?”