I curl in on myself. My teeth are chattering. So damn cold. And I’m naked. Another realization, and it isn’t helping me get free of the nightmare.
She pulls the covers over me, puts her arm over my hip, and I draw another shallow breath, some of the pain and panic fading to background noise.
Her face is right in front of mine, her delicate brows knit. “Okay?”
I just breathe, panting into the quiet, waiting for the fading voices in my head to go away. My heart is thudding so hard I think I might break a rib.
Christ.
“Want me to stay? Or go back to the couch?”
Dazed, I snake out a hand and grip her wrist, drag her closer, while my mind wraps itself around the fact she’s sleeping on my couch. In my apartment.
But not in my bed. My breathing comes a little easier now, both from realizing she’s careful, careful not to make my dreams worse, and from the voices from the memory finally falling silent.
Not that I don’t want her in my bed. I do. I do want everything with her. Touching her, tugging her closer is like walking on the edge of a knife. Dangerous. Thrilling. Potentially stupid.
Fucking awesome.
She climbs onto my bed. She’s dressed in an oversized T-shirt—one of mine, I think, and it makes me want to smile, though it’s too soon for that—and her hot pink lacy panties. The rest is long, smooth legs, and if I slip my hands under the T-shirt I know I’ll find her creamy stomach and her perfect tits.
How the hell can I be getting hard after this motherfucking nightmare when my lungs are still struggling to draw oxygen from the air? I let her curl beside me and pull the covers over both of us.
“Light?” she asks.
I hesitate. “Leave it on,” I croak, deciding it’s too late to be more embarrassed.
“Are you okay now?” Her voice is small. She’s frightened. That makes two of us. “I heard you scream.”
Hell. So I managed a scream after all.
“Why?” I swallow, try again. “Why are you here, Cass?”
“What do you mean?” She scrunches up her nose.
“You could be with any guy right now, out, partying. Dancing and drinking. Christ, having sex, and not having to tiptoe around my triggers and sleep on my couch only to be woken up by my screaming.” My pulse is racing a
gain, and something hot presses behind my eyes.
“You don’t know why?”
“Fuck.” I close my eyes, try to breathe around the knot in my throat. “No, I fucking don’t. What do you want from me? Why are you doing all this?”
“Because, you stupid boy.” Her voice trembles a little, and I frown. “I told you. I’ve never done this with anyone before.”
This. “Touching yourself?”
A huff of laughter escapes her. “That, too. But also this. Lying next to a guy, talking. Understanding. Just being together. Didn’t I tell you I like you?”
I don’t know if she said it. Wouldn’t have thought she meant it. Anyway, “like” is too broad a term to mean what I want it to mean.
What I want is to be the only guy for her. In everything.
I shiver, and she burrows closer to me. I’m still gripping her wrist, and I pull her hand to my chest. She’s warm. Leaving her hand over my pounding heart, I put my arm around her and press our bodies together.
“This okay, then?” she whispers. “I thought maybe you don’t want to touch so much after the nightmare.”
“With you it’s good,” I admit, though I don’t have the energy to explain more. I already talked much more than I thought possible after waking up like that.