That should have been the first warning sign, I guess, the first alarm bell.
But after the weekend I had, anything seems possible. Time with the girl I want, awesome sex, and even the zoo. Christ. The goddamn zoo. Bringing back memories of a time when I had hopes for myself. For my life.
Manon texts me, asking if I’d go to her place for dinner, and I grin like an idiot as I reply.
Shit, what does that imply, though? Flowers, right? I should at least take flowers. I count the cash in my wallet and my grin fades.
Right. Still no job. Still haven’t paid the landlord what I owe him, and I sure as hell don’t have money for the next rent. What the fuck was I thinking?
I sink in one of the new red leather armchairs inside the entrance to the shop and rub my hands over my face.
Can’t afford to be reckless. Things are bad enough as they are.
But then what, shall I go empty-handed? Fuck.
I could explain this to her. She may understand. Not what I want for her, though. Not how a boyfriend should treat her, pretend or not.
Shane sits down across in the other chair, scaring the crap out of me. “What’s up, man?” He nods, rolls a cigarette. “Good to see you back.”
“Yeah. Good to be back, cuz.”
“Leg okay?”
“Peachy. Never better.”
“You shitting me, Seffers?”
I lean back. “Leg’s better. But I’m out of job and can’t seem to be able to land any. Got any ideas?”
He scowls at me. “What happened to your bartender job?”
“I got fired.”
“Why?”
I know what he’s asking. “I honestly don’t know, man. Something about policies and sick leave.”
“You think they saw your fucking record.”
I nod.
“Fuck.” Shane bends his head until his long hair hides his face. “Christ, don’t you ever worry that Zane will chuck us back out onto the street when he knows?”
“Yeah.” All the damn time.
“He can’t ever find out, Seth.”
I know.
Like I said before—this isn’t only about me. I’d never drag Shane down with me again. That once fucked him up so bad I don’t know if he’ll ever recover.
Dammit.
“You screwing Cassie’s friend? Manon?”
“And what if I am?” I shove my lean wallet back into my pocket.
“Does Jesse know?”