He freezes in the act of straightening the black hoodie, lifting his gaze to look at me. It’s right there, the same heartbreak that shone out of his eyes when I peeked through the peephole earlier.
I rewind the conversation, trying to remember the last thing I said. “You made fun of me for not wanting to go to the wedding.”
“I fucking didn’t—”
“And I told you not to call me Embers. Actually, I said…” It’s a shitty name. That’s what I said. “Talk to me.”
“Fucked in the ass,” he whispers so low I have to strain to hear, “as Helen would say. Still.”
Who’s Helen? What’s this about?
He chews on the inside of his cheek, glances at the door, then at the window as if he’s debating jumping out to avoid any explanation.
Which only makes me more curious.
“Fucking hell.” He runs a hand over his close-cropped hair. “As if it fucking matters… Embers. Embers was the name of one of two things that were important to me.”
“Two thing? What things?”
“One was the leather band I lost.” He licks his lips, glances again at the door. “And the other was a toy.”
“A toy.” I gape at him. “The two things that mattered in your life were a leather bracelet and a toy? Why?”
A muscle jumps in his jaw. He bends his head, kicks at invisible dirt. “The toy’s the only thing that survived my childhood. It was a stuffed animal.”
“What happened to it?”
“I lost it.” He turns away and heads out of the kitchen. “I fucking lost it. That’s what I do with everything that matters to me. Gotta run.”
And this time he does leave, his scent lingering in my small kitchen.
***
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Kayla stumbles into the kitchen table, snatches my mug and gulps down my coffee. “How come I missed Jesse Lee lounging in our kitchen?” She waves the mug at me. “Couldn’t you at least, I don’t know, take photos? On your cell phone?”
“Last time he was here, you remembered an urgent chore and left.” I wrestle her for the coffee and she gives it up, then pads over to the coffee machine and pours herself another.
“That was because I wanted to give you some privacy. I did get to see him, though.” She wags her brows. “Very important detail.”
“Why would we need privacy?”
“Don’t know. Maybe because you were staring at each other like you were about to jump into bed together? And bickering,” she continues before I can get a word in edgewise. “Can’t forget the bickering. Major sign.”
“We weren’t bickering.” I swallow the rest of my lukewarm coffee, my thoughts stuck on everything Jesse said today. “A sign for what, anyway?”
Embers. The name of his toy. The one thing that survived his childhood.
Why would that be the one thing he has from when he was little? Or rather had, since he lost it. Who is Helen? And why did he run away?
I interrupt whatever it is Kayla
has been saying. “Have you seen a leather band lying around?”
“A leather band? Did you lose it here?” Kayla frowns, shakes her head. “Nope, can’t say I’ve seen it. But hey, I do love the bracelet you’re wearing now! Where did you get it?”
I lift my hand, small beads slipping like cool water over my wrist. “I made it.” From my winter batch.
“You did? Are you serious?” She yips and grabs my wrist with her free hand to study the bracelet. “Oh my God! Can you make more? Do you sell them?”