Not for the first time, I wish we could stay in this bed forever, leaving the world and its troubles outside. If it wasn’t for our kids and friends, I fucking swear, I might consider it.
For now, though, I’ll take what I can. I’ll take this night with her, make it good, and promise her many more like this one.
***
Much later, with the lights off and moonlight filtering through the window, I hold her to me. She’s asleep, her head pillowed on my shoulder, her soft hair cascading on my chest. Her face is peaceful, her mouth reddened from our kisses and my stubble.
She looks beautiful. The most beautiful girl on earth. She’ll always be this to me, I realize, when we’re forty, when we’re sixty, when we’re a hundred.
She’s my girl, and I’m so lucky she took me back despite my epic fuck-ups and the scars of my past.
And that makes me think of Zane. I’d managed to put that mess out of my mind until now. The mind-blowing sex helped, but now the worry is back.
I lightly stroke her hair as I turn what little I know over and over in my mind.
Night terrors. Flashbacks.
Why? Why now? I’ve known there was darkness in Zane’s past ever since I met him. Hell, after the breakdown he had when his sister passed, I talked to Ash and the other guys and someone mentioned his nightmares, but then said that after meeting Dakota, his then girlfriend and now wife, he’d found some peace.
So what changed? And why now, when we thought we’d reached the end of the winding path and set the wheels of our fate on a paved, straight road leading into the sunset?
I glance again at my girl, her soft breath warming my skin, her lush curves pressed to my sharp angles. She saved me from myself. Can’t imagine life without her. And Dakota saved Zane.
Only he’s backsliding and nobody seems to know why, not even her.
A shiver wracks me. Just nightmares. Probably nothing. Maybe he’s sick. Overworked. Maybe it’s normal to backslide a little.
It scares me to death. Because if he can fall back into darkness, then what’s keeping me from doing the same?
I thought all our troubles were over, dammit. That we were done with pain and fear. We need to lay this to rest.
And we will, you can damn well count on it.
Chapter Six
Erin
Tyler comes to sit beside me. He leans over the crib, his expression softening as he picks up our daughter and cradles her in his arms. He’s wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt, and the sight of his strong arms around our baby is both sexy and moving.
“The guys and I talked on the phone,” he says, jaw clenching, and my backs stiffens with tension. The worry lines around his mouth can’t be good.
No need to ask if it was about Zane. “Did you find out anything? How is he?”
“We’re gonna head over to his place tonight,
see if we can convince him to talk to us. Would you…?” He swallows hard, and I tense more.
Tyler, nervous?
“Would I what? Talk to Zane?” I mean, he’s one of my dearest, best friends. Of course I want to talk to him, find out what is hurting him.
“No. You should talk to Dakota.” He nods, as if to himself, and rocks Isa who’s trying to suck on his mantitty and is making frustrated sounds. “Find out as much as you can. You girls talk to each other, right?”
“More than you, pigheaded men? Sure.” I reach for the baby, and he passes her to me, his eyes dipping to my chest, dilating when I lift my blouse and take out a boob to feed our daughter. “So I’m insurance?”
“Sort of.” He’s still staring at my exposed boob. “In case he refuses to spill. I mean, talk.” His lashes lower. “God, you’re sexy…”
“Yeah, right.” Heat spreads on my cheeks.