I bend down and our lips brush—an electric touch that zings through my body, like a lightning bolt to my balls. Unable to stop myself, unable to think why I should, I put my hands on her face and lean in.
A sound breaks through my hazy senses.
Audrey pulls back and I blink, dizzy.
The doorbell.
“You expecting someone?” I ask, breathless.
Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes wide. It’s only then I realized she has her hand on my chest, pressing me back. “No. Can you check who it is?”
“Sure.” I get up, telling my body to calm the hell down. I try to gauge Audrey’s expression but can’t. Jesus, what the hell was I thinking?
I wasn’t. Or rather, I was thinking with my dick. Fuck, I want her so much it scares me. Since our first kiss those years back, I’m losing control. What if she doesn’t tell me I should stop? What if I end up hurting her?
Running my hands through my hair, I go to get the door. Through the peephole I see Tessa. I unlock and open.
She gapes at me. “You?”
I rub the back of my neck. “Uh, yeah. Audrey is in.”
“Can I...?” She waves a hand back and forth. “Is she...?”
I try to follow her line of thinking. “She sprained her ankle. I put an ice pack on it.”
&n
bsp; “Oh my god.” Tessa pushes past me and rushes inside.
Don’t let me stop you, I think and shake my head, closing the door and following her inside. I hang back, though, because Tessa sits by Audrey’s side and is whispering something to her, their foreheads almost touching.
Maybe it’s time to make myself scarce. I don’t want to go, but life is like that. Full of things you don’t want.
I turn to go, and hear Tessa say, “But you hate the guy.”
Right. Of course. I wait for a moment, though, hoping Audrey will deny it.
When she doesn’t reply, I go ahead and let myself out.
***
I wait for the bus in the cold night. I keep shoving my hands in my pockets, forgetting about the Band-Aids, so by the time the damn bus arrives, I’ve pulled half of them off.
I can’t find it in me to care. She hates me. For a while I thought she didn’t anymore, but Tessa would know. She’s Audrey’s best friend, and Audrey told her...
I don’t want to think about it. One foot in front of the other. My mind is blank. I board the bus and sit at the window, my brow pressed to the cold glass.
What did you expect? I ask myself over and over again as we roll through the sleeping town. Why are you surprised?
I’m not, not really. I’m hollow. I feel nothing. It’s one thing avoiding her and feeding the hope in my heart, and quite another seeing her, kissing her, and hearing the truth.
She hates me.
I get off the bus after an hour, trudge home, unlock the door, already starting to shrug off my jacket.
And am met with a fist to my face.
I drop, pain shooting through my jaw, my arms tangled in the jacket. Distantly I feel the impact of my skull hitting the floor, and I’m too dazed to understand what’s going on. Still, lifelong instincts kick in, and I curl, covering my head. Blood gushes from my nose, coating my mouth, dripping to the floor. The metallic taste makes me gag.