Inevitably, come the next morning, they scream at me until I leave.
A guy has needs. Urges, dark ones sometimes, especially when my brain takes me down that spiral to the black pit below. Hell, I think some might call it. A sort of personal hell where all my demons live, clawing at me, clawing at my mind.
And I’m no saint. Physical contact ain’t my thing, but my dick often has other ideas, and... there’s a relief right after I come, right before reality kicks back in. A blank, a moment of bliss where the world disappears.
Some days it’s the only thing that keeps me fucking sane.
“God, you’re so quiet!” She pouts. “Was it something I said?”
“No.”
She apparently takes that as a positive answer, an invitation to crawl over me. Her red lipstick is smeared around her mouth, and she looks more like a sad clown than anything remotely sexy right now. No idea why my dick had stirred earlier, because it sure is losing interest now.
I shove her off me. “Not tonight.”
“But why not?” she whines, tugging on my arm, long nails digging in.
“Because...” Good question. No matter how she looks, no matter how drunk or stupid she is, I’ve fucked girls like that. Done it all the time. I’m an animal. “Just because.”
As I squint into the darkness of the street and wonder about it myself, I think I know why I’m out of sorts. Earlier today, coming out of work, I thought I saw someone... a familiar face.
A girl.
No, I’m drunker than I thought and my memory has been playing games for a while now. She hasn’t been around in years. And it shouldn’t fucking matter anyway.
“Rossssss... Come on,” she whines again, pulling on my arm as I push to my feet, weaving a little, clutching the Vodka bottle like it’s all I have in the world.
Maybe it is.
Why did I tell her my name?
“Listen to me,” I grunt. “Keep the fuck away from me. I don’t want you, got it?”
“You’re cruel,” she whispers. Tears gather in her eyes. “You don’t mean it.”
Oh yeah, I am. This time she got it right. “Fuck off to your mommy, and tell her how you offered to spread your legs for me, spread your fucking pussy to a stranger outside a bar because you’re drunk off your fucking ass.”
“You’re so mean. Why...?”
“God, woman, just fuck the hell off.”
She seems so surprised. I wonder if most people are shocked when they discover that the world ain’t all rainbows and unicorns. That it’s a damn nasty place.
And I’m the fucking dark writhing at its center.
***
Trouble.
Fucking trouble. I hear the crack of breaking glass a moment after the half-full bottle of Vodka is ripped from my hands and smashed to the street, and by then I know. I sense it as a kick to the back of my legs makes me stumble and a shove sends me staggering across the deserted street.
I know these guys—Fred and Crichton. Brothers, boys me and my gang liked to tease in school. Now they’re all grown up and made themselves into self-proclaimed avengers, choosing me as their favorite target. I was the gang leader, after all, the instigator.
And my gang scattered. Those who’ve stayed in Destiny, those out of prison, keep a low profile. A couple married young, had kids. Nobody remembers them much.
Everyone remembers me.
“Asshole,” one of them snarls. “You get what you deserve, motherfucker.”