Not that I regret a single moment of it. My body’s still humming with pleasure as I curl over him, listening to his heart.
He’s asleep.
At least I hope so.
Worry grips me. Lifting my head, I watch his face, not sure what I’m looking for. His eyes flicker rapidly under his lids, his golden lashes gleaming in the morning light filtering through the window slats. His breathing changes, speeding up.
He’s dreaming.
I stroke his cheek, loving the smoothness of his skin under my fingertips, then the coarseness of his beard. I wonder how he’d look without it. When I first met him, it was short and trimmed along the lines of his face. Now it’s hiding him, a golden cloud.
I lower my hand before I start tugging on it.
Grinning, I glance around his room, taking it in, taking my time. I’ve been here a couple of times before, but it was always in the night for a quick fuck and sleep before he had to head out to the garage, and I always left with him.
It’s such a typical guy room. Plain, spartan, one huge bed in the middle and the closet taking up one side. The walls are unadorned but for one large drawing done in black ink.
A key, made up of smaller keys, made up of smaller ones. It’s like an infinity puzzle.
I squint at the bottom corner, and I think I make out the signature. Z. Madden. The same guy who did Kaden’s tats? Interesting.
I look back down at the guy asleep underneath me, taking up most of the bed with his big frame, his face relaxed once more, and trace his tattoos with my gaze.
Keys. So many keys. And Jared said they symbolize trust. Or rather, Kaden’s mistrust. All the locks that keep him from opening up, like some magic box, but what are the keys?
How do I make him trust me? Why wouldn’t he?
What if he needed more time, and I ran away before he could? I mean, look at me. I ran instead of giving him a chance to prove himself out of cowardice. I chose to protect myself, my heart, instead of sitting down to talk things out.
I shouldn’t feel so light-hearted, so… content. That talk we were supposed to have instead of him screwing my brains out against the wall can’t be put off for much longer. Maybe I should call the hospital.
What if he lost the memory of our fight forever? What if he never remembers it? Should I tell him?
Of course I should. What am I thinking?
It’s just that…I’m happy. Truly happy for the first time ever. I think even back when I first met Kaden, I wasn’t one hundred percent there.
I want to tell him I was wrong, that he didn’t betray my trust as I thought, therefore I trust him, but how do I do that without telling him what happened?
Later, I extricate myself from Kaden’s side to go get dressed and see how to have my stuff brought over from the hotel. I guess I’ll have to leave Kaden alone for a while, go pay and get everything back here. Then I should buy some groceries and cook up some breakfast. Or lunch, or whatever. And clean up the place a bit.
Or is it a bad idea? Am I presuming things? Making myself at home as if I belong here? Like, I haven’t asked him if he wants me staying here until he’s better.
Great, I’m second-guessing myself again.
I pull on yesterday’s clothes and wrinkle my nose at the smell. Yeah, I need my bag from the hotel, and maybe I could do a laundry. No matter what, he wouldn’t mind me using his washing machine, right?
God, I don’t want to go back to Chicago. Back to how we were until a few days ago. I want to be with him as we are now.
Sighing, I pick up my cell phone and find, like, fifty thousan
d messages from Trent, and a few from Maggie.
I should change my phone number.
Though I’m glad I didn’t, or Matt wouldn’t have located me to tell me what happened to Kaden.
I call Maggie, and she picks up on the first ring. “Hailey! You all right? You haven’t texted me or called me since you vanished and I didn’t know how it went!”