I grab my phone, dial the police and ask for help. I barely understand what the voice at the other end says, except ask for my name and address and I give it to her.
“Don’t worry, sir,” she says as I’m about to disconnect. “He probably wandered off nearby. We’ll find him.”
Will we?
What kind of dad would leave the doors unlocked and allow his three-year-old son to wander off? What a fuck-up I am, dammit.
I manage not to throw the phone across the room, but I can’t sit on my ass and do nothing while waiting, either. For all I know, Cole is in danger, at the very least from cars passing by.
“Mary,” I say and reach for her. “Come with me. We’re gonna search for Cole.”
She puts down the doll she’d been holding. “But Dad, I have to feed Eleanor and Ruby. They’re hungry.”
“Please, Mary. Come on.”
“Maybe Tati has him. Where is Tati?”
I swallow hard. “She had to go, baby.”
Her lower lip trembles and she sits up, her dolls forgotten. “Tati wouldn’t go. Tati always comes.”
Goddammit. “Come on.” I grab her little hand, haul her to her feet. “Let’s go, Mary.”
“I want Tati,” Mary sobs, digging in her heels, big fat tears tracking down her cheeks. “Tati.”
Oh for chrissakes. I want her, too, I’m dying a little inside every time I realize she won’t be coming back, I want to call and apologize and beg and go to my knees to have her come back, but Cole… Right now I need to find Cole.
And I’m not letting my other kid home alone even if she’s having a total fucking meltdown.
My patience is on a short leash, the urgent need to find him driving me through the panic. So I swoop Mary up in my arms, letting her kick at me and slap at me with her small hands as I march out of the house once more, trying to think over her wailing about where Cole might have gone.
Stepping off the porch, I start down the path to the street, when I notice someone standing there.
“Matt?” Octavia looks pale, her dark hair messy. “Can we talk for a minute?”
She’s back. She’s here. I drink her in like she’s my last drop of water.
Gathering my wits, I stride over to her. “Tay.”
“Tati!” Mary wiggles in my arms, sniffling and reaching for Octavia. “You didn’t go.”
Octavia turns wide eyes on me, and I can’t help noticing they’re red-rimmed. “Where’s Cole?” And then, “What’s wrong?”
How can she read me so easily when I’m the moodiest, grumpiest guy on earth?
“Cole is missing,” I tell her. “We’ve got to find him.”
Right the hell now.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Octavia
A police car arrives, lights flashing, as we hurry up and down the street, calling Cole’s name. Panic gives me energy, despite a night spent tossing and turning and crying, and despite how hard he tries to hide it, I see in Matt’s face just how scared he is.
I came back to tell him I can’t work for him anymore. Yeah, I begged for this job. Yeah, I need the money, but not after last night. No matter how I love his kids, how I get all weak-kneed and star-eyed around him… I can’t.
He kind of broke me last night. Maybe I should have told him I hadn’t done it before. But it’s not like we sat down to talk before. It just happened.