My customer gives me a curt thanks, pulls on his shirt and leaves the booth to pay at the counter, leaving me alone. For a few brief moments, I allow myself to lean against the counter and give in to the fatigue that still plagues me. It’s getting better these days and I’m damn glad. I do my best to keep it from Zane, though, ’cuz he’ll worry and send me home. The shop can’t afford it. Apart from me, Zane and Ocean are the only other licensed artists.
Hell, I can’t afford it, either. Fucking need to pay the rent. Besides, I am much better now. A few deep breaths and I’m ready to face my next appointment.
My only regret is not seeing her today. A face from my past I never thought I’d see again. Is it her? I need to get closer and gather the courage to talk to her. Christ, I hope it’s Ev. She saw me at my worst, and I want her to see me as I am today. Healthy. Strong. With a roof over my head and a steady income. With friends and a sort of family.
And above all, I want to thank her for saving my life.
Seth leaves before I finish work. I hope he doesn’t eat all the food we have at home before I arrive. I’m starving. My stomach’s growling like a grizzly. Now that I think about it, do we have any food left in the fridge? Sounds like it’s gonna be take-out night.
By the time I clean up my station and wash my hands, the shop is deserted. I can see the glowing embers of Zane’s cigarette outside, so I close up and head out. I zip up my jacket and shove my hands into my pockets. The cold stings my face. I stand next to Zane and look across the street, at the donut shop.
“You okay, Micah?” Zane shoots me a sideways glance. “You don’t look too hot today.”
I wince. Nothing gets past Zane. “I’m okay.”
He shakes his head and draws on the smoke. His face is in shadow, the glowing embers reflected briefly in his dark eyes. “Taking your vitamins?”
“Yes, Mom.”
Zane chuckles, and I smile into the darkness, feeling comfortable and easy in my skin. This is what family should feel like. Zane is family. Plus, he taught me all I know. He saved me. Saved all of us who work in Damage Control: Shane, Ocean, Jesse and Seth. Sometimes I wonder if he realizes how much he means to us.
“You’d tell me if needed anything, yeah?” He throws his cigarette down and steps on it.
“Yeah.”
“All right, then. Go home, fucker, and keep Seth out of trouble. I can’t keep an eye on all of you all the fucking time.”
I nod and turn to go.
“That girl you keep watching.” Zane’s voice stops me in my tracks. “Who is she, Micah?”
I frown as the memories wash over me in a huge wave, hot and cold, painful and bittersweet. I turn back around and consider what to say. ’Cuz I can’t flip Zane off and walk away. Not him. But speaking about Ev to others feels like a violation of some kind. As if she’s a half-forgotten dream, precious and fragile, and talking about it might shatter it, prove it’s just a dream and not a memory.
But she was there and not just that once. My memory of those days may be hazy but her face... I remember her face. Is it her, coming every day to the shop across the street, or is my mind playing games?
“Micah?” Zane is squinting at me, a crease between his brows.
“I think it’s someone I’ve met before,” I rush to say. “I’m not...” I glance again at the shop across the street.
“You’re not what?”
“Not even sure it’s her.”
Zane plays with his lighter, flipping it on and off. “She means something to you, doesn’t she?”
I shrug, trying to be cool about it. “I don’t really know her.”
“Not talking about whoever it is you think she is. I mean this chick across the street. I’ve seen how you look at her. You really dig her, don’t you?”
Sucker acts like a big brother, too, all nosy and shit. “What if I do?”
He snorts and puts the lighter back into his pocket. “Nothing. Just making sure I got my facts right.”
“Fuck you,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my head.
“Yeah, yeah.” Zane grins, looking pleased with himself. “Give her a kiss from me, will ya?” And he starts down the street before I can come up with an appropriate answer.
I give him the finger anyway, though he can’t see it, and I sigh. I’ll be lucky to even talk to her, let alone kiss her.