“I just need to know one thing, Mom: Is my father still alive?”
There was a fraction of a pause on the other end of the line. “What are you talking about, daughter? Your father died when you were a baby. You know that.”
Rachel dug her nails into the plush carpeting. “I’m going to ask you one more time: Is. My. Father. Alive?”
“I don’t understand. What have you heard?”
“Yes or no, Mom. Don’t waste my fucking time!” she spat out.
Kerry gasped at the force of Rachel’s anger. It sounded like she was in the next room. “Daughter, you need to calm down.”
“Who is Zhou Fang Min?” There. She had said it.
There was a long pause before her mother said nervously, “Daughter, you need to let me explain.”
She could feel her heart pounding in her temples. “So it’s true. He is alive.”
“Yes, but—”
“So everything you’ve told me my entire life has been a lie! A BIG FUCKING LIE!” Rachel held the phone away from her face and screamed into it, her hands shaking with rage.
“No, Rachel—”
“I’m going to hang up now, Mom.”
“No, no, don’t hang up!” Kerry pleaded.
“You’re a liar! A kidnapper! You’ve deprived me from knowing my father, my real family. How could you, Mom?”
“You don’t know what a hateful man he was. You don’t understand what I went through.”
“That’s not the point, Mom. You lied to me. About the most important thing in my life.” Rachel shuddered as she broke down in sobs.
“No, no! You don’t understand—”
“Maybe if you hadn’t kidnapped me, he wouldn’t have done all the horrible things he did. Maybe he wouldn’t be in jail now.” She looked down at her hand and realized she was pulling out tufts of the carpet.
“No, daughter. I had to save you from him, from his family.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore, Mom. Who can I trust now? My name isn’t even real. WHAT’S MY REAL NAME?”
“I changed your name to protect you!”
“I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore.”
“You’re my daughter! My precious daughter!” Kerry cried, feeling utterly helpless standing in her kitchen in California while her daughter’s heart was breaking somewhere in Singapore.
“I need to go now, Mom.”
She hung up the phone and crawled onto the bed. She lay on her back, letting her head hang off the side. Maybe the rush of blood would stop the pounding, would end the pain.
The Goh family was just sitting down to some poh piah when Rachel entered the dining room.
“There she is!” Wye Mun called out jovially. “I told you Jane Ear would come down sooner or later.”
Peik Lin made a face at her father, while her brother Peik Wing said, “Jane Eyre was the nanny, Papa, not the woman who—”
“Ho lah, ho lah,† smart aleck, you get my point,” Wye Mun said dismissively.