How would I explain that most of it I didn't know? "No."
"Did you read the police report?"
"Not yet."
Actually, I was shying away from it. I imagined the gory details. He picked it up and looked at it.
"Harry Pearson wasn't a small man, you know. He was six feet two inches and weighed close to two hundred and ten pounds. Your mother was about your height, five feet four inches. I'm six feet one."
"So?"
"So stand up," he said.
"Why?"
"Just do it."
I did. He reached out for my shoulders and turned me to face him directly.
"Okay. Here," he said, putting a pen in my right hand. "Pretend that's a knife. Swing it at my neck. Stab me in the neck."
"What?"
"Do it. Don't worry. Do it hard, fast. Do it!" he nearly screamed.
Here I was, standing in what had been my mother's room, reenacting the crime she had committed, acting out a nightmare. Was he getting some sick pleasure out of this? Would he brag to his friends and make me even more of a target in school?
"I'm trying to show you something. Please, just do it."
I started to shake my head and then, I can't explain why, I did it. I raised my hand and swung it at him, and he easily blocked it. He held my wrist and smiled.
"That doesn't prove anything," I said. "He could have been looking away, never expecting it." "Looking away?"
"Yes. Let go."
He did, and I put the pen down.
"Why did you swing at me with your right hand?" he asked.
"What do you mean? You put the pen in it and you told me to do it."
"Are you right-handed?"
"No"
"Do you know where the wound was?"
"I told you. I didn't get to the police report." "It was on Harry Pearson's left side."
"So?"
"So, she had to have the knife in her right hand. That's why I told you to do it."
"Terrific," I said. All I wanted to do now was run out of his room and the house. I started to walk out.
"Wait. Like you, your mother was left-handed, and I wasn't there telling her to put the knife in her right hand. C'mon. Read this," he urged, shoving the police report at me.
I stared at him a moment and then slowly backed up and lowered myself to the chair. He handed me the police report, and I read it quickly. Then I looked up at him.