"Why is it all right for you never to be fair and not for the rest of us? That's the world you created around you. Welcome home," Dr. Foreman said. "Now get up and follow your buddies out. I don't like wasting my time," she said sternly.
"What did you want us to say?" I cried with desperation, my arms out like some street beggar's.
She paused, her lips relaxing, her eyes brightening with cold excitement. "I want you to tell me the truth and I want you to be truthful with yourself."
"What truth? I don't understand what you're talking about, what all this is." I said, shaking my head.
"Oh, but you will. Phoebe. Soon, you will." she said. smiling. "I have no doubt of that."
The buddies were all smiling, too, all of them confident we would fall into line. They were obviously enjoying this, enjoying seeing girls who were once like they were, girls who would be molded into whatever form Dr. Foreman had envisioned for us. Just as she had told Teal in that concrete building-- she was playing God.
"Let's go. ladies," M'Lady Three sang.
With great reluctance, we rose and left that cool oasis, that comfort, and followed them bac
k out to the still hot and glaring late-afternoon sun. When did it cool down?
We put on our shoes and followed our buddies away from the house, all of us shuffling along with exhaustion, looking like some ragtag. defeated army. The hot sun made the plains of the desert shimmer around us, the hot air wavering. I thought it wouldn't surprise me to see a mirage.
I looked back and saw Dr. Foreman standing in the doorway watching us.
She was smiling again and that smile was like a knife at my pounding heart.
And that was no mirage.
4
Betrayal
.
We were taken back to the garden and told to
finish planting the tomatoes. M'Lady Two warned that if we didn't do our work well, we would be denied dinner. Sullen, but afraid to resist, the three of us began again. Natani had a way of appearing as if he just materialized out of thin air. None of us heard him approaching until he was there, standing behind us, observing, occasionally instructing again, and helping us get through it.
The sun was lower in the sky, now nearly completely behind a mountain in the distance. It was almost tolerable to be outside. As the glare lessened. I saw how badly burned both Robin and Teal were, Their cheeks were clown red, their upper arms especially looking raw. Neither realized it yet. I thought. When they turned their backs to me. I saw how crimson the backs of their necks were. too. They would surely be feeling miserable tonight, especially sleeping on those cots. When I looked at Natani. I saw him nod as if he could hear my thoughts,
"You must come with me now," he told Teal and Robin. They looked at me. I shrugged as if to say, who knew what was next?
"I can't do anything else. I'm ready to die!" Teal moaned,
"You must come with me," Natani repeated.
None of the buddies were there to bully us, but we followed him around the far barn, carrying our tools. There we saw what looked like a dumpy old shack made out of logs and brush and mud. He pulled aside the blanket door and stepped back, urging us to enter.
"What is this?" Teal finally asked,
This is my house," Natani said. "We call it a hogan."
We entered slowly. It wasn't much of a house. A thick blanket and a slim mattress were on the left. On the right was what looked like an ancient stove, the pipe up through the roof. We saw a drum and a pile of clothing beside it with two pairs of moccasins. Strings of beads hung on one wall.
"Where's the television set?" Robin joked.
Natani smiled. "My television set is out there." He indicated the door.
'Don't knock it," Teal muttered. "At least there are no commercials."
"Right now, I'd settle for commercials," Rabin replied.