"I'll stay a little longer with Great-aunt Frances." I told her. It was a lie. I was getting better at it because she nodded, believed me, and left.
Great-aunt Frances was sleeping soundly now. so I tiptoed out and went to the food pantry. I found the attic key and then, as quietly as I could. I went up the stairs and opened the attic door. I slipped in without putting on the light. There was enough moonlight coming through the attic windows for me to clearly make out the stairway. I went up and sat on the sofa in the dark with the silvery moonlight draped around me like some magical blanket, and then I tried to do what Ian had instructed.
Only, when I pictured Mammy. I called out to her instead of using only my brain. I realized it and stopped myself, but it was hard. I sat there as long as I could and waited to hear her voice. There was just silence, a silence so deep that I could hear my own heartbeat.
Finally. I gave up. I imagined it would take a lot more practice. How could I expect to be as perfect as Ian right away? I told myself and tiptoed back down the stairway, taking great care with the door and lock. I returned the key to the drawer. By the time I went up to the bedroom. Alanis was asleep on the bed, still fully dressed, the book in her hands. I tried making as little noise as possible, but she woke.
"Oh," she said. "I must have fallen asleep. Your great-aunt still downstairs?"
"Uh-huh," I said, and then we both heard her come out of the bathroom.
"How could she get upstairs that fast?" Alanis asked.
I didn't know what to say. She would question me now and discover I had gone up to the attic alone. She would want to know why. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"You fell asleep down there yourself, didn't you?" she asked and smiled. "Didn't you?"
"Yes," I said. She laughed.
"It's all right," she said. "Don't be embarrassed. I did. too. I'm getting ready for bed." she told me. She left to sneak into Grandmother Emma's bathroom.
That lie was even easier than before, I thought.
Lying to the expert liar wasn't as hard to do as I had thought. I must be getting better.
We talked for a while after we were both in bed and the lights were out. Alanis admitted being more than just annoyed at her mother.
"She would go off on a drunken bender for days when my father was still with us. Sometimes. I can still hear the shouting and yelling in my head. It rumbles about in there like tin cans. I can't tell you how many times she told me she wished she had never been married and never given birth to me."
"She said that?" "Many times,"
She was quiet and I was quiet, and then she turned on her side and, minutes later, was asleep. I thought I heard her sob in her sleep. As I lay there. I wondered how Ian actually felt with his body being wrapped. I tried to imagine it and pretend it was happening to me. It frightened me and I turned over, too, and tried to sleep.
Alanis was up ahead of me in the morning, excited about our trip. She wanted us to get downstairs and start breakfast before Great-aunt Frances had awakened. She said we'd both bring her breakfast up to her.
"We'll keep stroking her like this so she's in a good mood and doesn't ask too many questions about the trip," Alanis said.
I made the hot chocolate and Alanis prepared the eggs and bacon, toast and jam. She was a better cook than she had said she was. While she worked. I learned she had been cooking and fixing breakfasts, lunches and dinners ever since she was five.
"Even though I was young. I couldn't wait for my mother to get over a hangover or something," she said.
"What about your granddad? Who's helping him with his meals now?"
"He's good at taking care of himself. Granddad was always on his own. My mother didn't bring him much more than trouble when we moved in with him. C'mon," she said. "Let's bring this up to your greataunt. Wait." she added just as she picked up the tray. She hurried out the back door and moments later returned with a handful of wildflowers. She put them in a tall glass. 'Just like in a hotel," she declared, smiling.
We marched upstairs. Great-aunt Frances was just stretching. Miss Puss was curled up and asleep at her feet and didn't waken until we brought the tray to Great-aunt Frances.
"Oh, my, my, dear me!" Great-aunt Frances cried. "How beautiful. You two will spoil me rotten." she said and sat up. Alanis moved quickly to set up her pillows and make her comfortable.
"Take your time. Great-aunt Frances," Alanis told her. "We'll come up to get your tray before we leave."
"Leave?" she asked. She had forgotten. Alanis threw me a quick glance.
"We're just going to visit a friend, remember? Well be back before dinner," she told her.
"Oh. Yes,"
"I hope the eggs are okay," Alanis said, immediately getting her mind off in another direction.