“Fine.” Claudia scooped a sleep mask out of her smaller suitcase.
/> “We’re trying to get to know each other,” Marcy said.
“There’s always tomorrow. I’m not leaving . . . for a while, anyway,” Claudia said, and put her sleep mask on before crawling into bed and turning her back to us.
“You want to come to my room?” Marcy asked.
“I think I should go to bed, too,” I said. “It’s been a long day. I’ll see you at breakfast, okay?”
Marcy was disappointed, but she stood up. “I hope you don’t turn out to be a good influence on me or something,” she said. “If you think of something shocking to tell me, don’t be afraid to wake me up. ’Night, newlyweds,” she chimed.
Claudia didn’t respond.
I smiled. “Thanks. ’Night,” I said.
She rolled her eyes and left. I changed into my pajamas and went to brush my teeth and wash up. When I returned, Claudia had turned onto her back and taken off her sleep mask.
“It’s all right with me if you want to ask for a different roommate,” she said.
“What for?” I asked.
She didn’t answer.
“We haven’t known each other long enough to dislike each other,” I said.
She turned to me. “I have never had a boyfriend. I haven’t gone to any parties or anything since I was in junior high school. I’m not gay, although I’ve been accused of being gay,” she rattled off, like someone who had to get it said and over.
“I wouldn’t frame it as an accusation if you were,” I said. “And I haven’t been Miss Popularity at my school, despite how Marcy thinks of me. She means no harm. Let’s just get ourselves started and organized, Claudia. It seems like a good school. I hope we’ll both be happy here.”
She studied me a moment to see if I was just telling her what she would want to hear and then nodded. She apparently decided I was sincere. “Okay.”
I got into bed, and after I put out the light, we were silent, but then she asked me what my class schedule was. We shared two classes.
“I’m better in math. If I wasn’t, my father would be disappointed,” she said.
“What about your mother?”
“She doesn’t even ask about my grades anymore.”
“I’m better in English and history, so maybe we can help each other.”
“Maybe,” she said cautiously.
“Good night,” I said.
“?’Night.” She sounded so fragile.
Who was more broken? I wondered. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe in some way, I was lucky to have pulled her as a roommate. I wasn’t going to sleep worrying about myself for a change. And I would have less reason to think about Haylee.
That felt good. I never thought I would feel happy so quickly here. I was skeptical that I ever would, but I closed my eyes and considered that I might. I just might make something of a comeback after all.
That boy back at the dining hall came to mind again. Troy Matzner. I wondered why he kept to himself. Was it good to be curious or dangerous now? Why not start optimistically? I thought.
I might even fall in love with someone and come to the point where everything terrible that had happened to me would seem like it had happened to someone else.
Maybe I could pretend it had happened to Haylee.
After all, that was who Anthony Cabot thought he had kidnapped.