“How do I mean?”
“Sex,” Claudia said bluntly.
“You haven’t had any sex?”
“No, not how you mean.”
“What is this with what I mean? It’s not rocket science. Are you a virgin? How close did you come to losing it? Was there a boy you liked enough to do it with? They are not multiple-choice questions.”
“They are to me,” Claudia said.
“Huh?” Marcy looked at me with frustration.
I looked away, secretly pleased at Marcy’s frustration.
“If you could have the boy of your dreams, what would he be like?” she asked.
“I always felt hypothetical questions were a waste of time,” Claudia replied. “Something like that should be spontaneous anyway. It’s my big bang theory.”
“What?” Marcy looked like she wasn’t sure if she should laugh and turned to me for some hint.
I said nothing.
“Do you mean big bang like I think or hope?” she asked.
“I’m going to brush my teeth and wash up for bed,” Claudia said instead of replying. She gathered her bag of toiletries and walked out.
“What language does she speak? Can you think of another reason to have a boyfriend? What did she mean by saying they are multiple-choice questions to her? And what is a big bang theory?” Marcy asked after Claudia was gone.
I shrugged. “I think I know what she means. Companionship could be one reason other than sex, I suppose.”
“Companionship? With a boy?” Marcy grimaced as if the word left a bitter taste after it was pronounced. “That died for me once I had my first period. Unless he’s gay, any boy has one thing on his mind, no matter how safe you might think he is. Which is fine by me,” she added. “Don’t tell me that when you look at a boy, especially a boy you just met, the vision of what it would be like to sleep with him doesn’t come into it some way, sometime, even if it’s a ‘never happen’ thought. It’s still one of your thoughts, right? I mean, I’m not some nymphomaniac. I’m a well-adjusted, determined-to-be-sexually-active young woman. Okay, that’s enough confession from me. She has my head spinning. Your turn.”
“I suppose I think about it but not, as you make it sound, with every boy I meet. They have to be attractive and interesting enough for me to care.”
“I’m not saying I’d do it with just any of them, but it helps to imagine what it would be like.”
I looked away. All this sounded so immature to me now. Was it impossible for me to be a teenage girl again and have these kinds of discussions?
Marcy persisted. “All right. I’ll start from scratch. How about you? Any special boy you left behind?”
“There was one once,” I said. It seemed like decades ago. “My first real crush, I suppose. He moved away.”
“Lost contact?”
“Yes, but he set the bar for me.”
“Which means?”
“I tend to measure other boys against him, and so far, no one’s come close.”
She nodded, impressed.
I’m getting good at this, I thought, and again thought, out of self-defense.
Claudia returned, wearing her light pink robe and matching pajamas. “What time is lights-out?” she asked, putting away her clothes.
“Lights-out? This isn’t exactly the army,” Marcy said.