“She’s in the bathroom taking a shower. I’m going to take one now, too.”
“Good.”
“Daddy’s taking us to school.”
“Good.”
“We’ll stop by to say good-bye. Don’t worry.”
“That’s my good girls.”
“Oh, yes, Mother. That’s Haylee and Kaylee.”
She stared. Was she coming back? Did she realize I was humoring her? “I’m still a bit tired,” she said.
“There’s no reason to hurry yourself, Mother. We’re taking care of everything, sharing all the chores like always. I’d better go shower. We’re wearing what you set out for us today. We both like it.”
She smiled. “Of course you do. My girls,” she said.
“Your girls,” I replied, and walked away.
I took a shower and started to get dressed, thinking more and more about Daddy’s advice and Mrs. Lofter’s, too. I could easily tell my classmates that I’d been practically tossed out of the house, that, as Mrs. Lofter had suggested, my moping about, crying over Kaylee, was not helping my mother but was making things worse for her. Everyone would understand, and that would practically double the doses of sympathy I’d receive.
Thank you, Mrs. Lofter, I thought.
I decided I would ask Daddy to drop me off at school today. I could be late. That would be even more dramatic. And of course, I would have Ryan take me home. I really didn’t want to spend another day in this doom-and-gloom atmosphere. It was as if the whole house had turned into a funeral parlor. I opened my closet and considered my choices. I had to show some restraint and not wear something too loud and cheerful, especially not something too sexy. After all, I was still like someone in mourning, wasn’t I? I settled on a rather drab black dress that Mother had bought us to attend a wake for the husband of one of her friends a little less than a year ago. Thanks for dying, Mr. Whoever, I thought. I had hated every minute of it and had forgotten her friend’s last name. Every once in a while, I had poked or tickled Kaylee, who had been sitting there with her appropriate demeanor and pretending she didn’t hate every second of it like I did.
I had always thought the dress was unattractive and did nothing for our figures. When I’d complained to Kaylee, she’d said, “It’s not supposed to be attractive and sexy, Haylee. Think of it as a costume or something.”
“Ha ha.” She could be so condescending. No one else saw that as well as I did. Little Miss Perfect had her own nasty streak at times.
Now, right after I put on the dress, I heard a commotion in the hallway. I opened my door enough to peek out and saw Mrs. Lofter with her arm around Mother’s shoulders. They were standing in front of Kaylee’s bedroom door. Mother, still in her nightgown, was crying hysterically. Daddy was running up the stairs. He joined them, and he and Mrs. Lofter practically carried Mother back to her bedroom.
Mrs. Lofter glanced back at me and shook her head. I closed my door and went to do my hair and put on a little makeup. Minutes later, I heard Daddy knock on my door and step into my bedroom. I came to the bathroom door.
“What’s happening now?”
“Your mother got it into her head that I took you and Kaylee to school without either of you stopping by to say good-bye to her and show her how you looked.”
“That just came to her?” I asked, afraid he knew what I had told her.
“It’s like that right now.” He realized I was dressing. “Going somewhere?”
“I thought you were right, and Mrs. Lofter told me the same thing when she entered the house and saw me in the kitchen. I’ll go to school today. You can take me on your way to work, right?”
“Sure.” He lingered.
“What?”
“Mrs. Lofter thinks we should have Dr. Jaffe see your mother sooner. I might put off this appointment I have in New Jersey for another day. We’ll see. Mrs. Lofter is speaking to him a little later this morning. How long before you’re ready to go?”
“Ten minutes,” I said.
Unexpectedly, his news filled me with trembling. It was as if I had begun an avalanche by rolling a snowball down a hill. As much as I hated the world in which we had been living, it was the only world I knew. I could sense that it was coming apart at the seams, and although I imagined only good things for myself in the future, I suddenly wasn’t as confident as I had been.
Daddy could read the fear in my face. “Hey,” he said, coming toward me. “Don’t be so worried. You’re not alone by any definition of the word. We’re in this together, you and me. Whatever we have to do, we’ll do.”
He drew me to him to give me a loving hug and then kissed me on the forehead.