their faces." She threaded her fingers through her hair
madly. "They know I rarely do what they can do
anytime they want. I hate their pity! I hate it!" She clenched her hands into small fists and pounded the
tops of her thighs.
"It's been this way for years and years and I've
tried to keep my sanity just so you would grow up in a
happy home, but I can't sacrifice any more. I won't! I
won't give up what is so precious and fleeting--my
youth and my beauty. I won't wilt away like some
flower closed off from the sun.
"I belong out there on the dance floors, at the
operas and the theater, at the seashore resorts, at the
parties with my picture being taken for the society
pages.
"Do you have any idea how many affairs I had
to miss because your father was too busy to attend?
Do you?" She then took a breath. Her face was scarlet
and her eyes were screwed so tight that I was
frightened. I was stunned by her outburst. Never had I
imagined she harbored such resentment and despair. I wanted to hate her for what she was doing to
Daddy and to me, but seeing her in such a state, her
eyes bulging, her hair pulled out, her face red with
frustration, all I could think was that this terrifying
creature wasn't my mother.
"Daddy is sorry about all that. He really is." "I'm sure he is . . . for the moment, but tomorrow some crisis at his business will take up his attention and he will forget what has happened
between us."
"No, Momma, he won't. Can't you let him try
again? Can't you?" I pleaded.
"I have let him try again, Leigh. Many, many
times. This didn't just start recently. It started almost