"I didn't find any sugar daddy, Fanny." I shook my head. It was so frustrating talking to her sometimes. "And I can't just invite you to come live at Farthy so you can hunt for a rich man to marry "
"Ya always tried ta leave me behind. Ya still owe me, Heaven Leigh Casteel. Yeah, Casteel. I don't care what name ya take, ya still Heaven Leigh Casteel, a girl from the Willies, jus' like me, ya hear? When Ma left us, ya promised ta look after me and care for me, but ya didn't stop Pa from sellin' me ta that lustful Reverend, and when I asked ya ta help me get back ma baby, ya didn't do it. All ya had to do was offa him more money;but ya didn't do it. Ya didn't do it!"
"You're not the motherly type, Fanny. You'll never be."
"Is that so? Don't be so sure 'bout me, Heaven. Don' go around bein' so sure 'bout everyone else but yerself."
"I'm not sure about myself, Fanny But we can never see ourselves as well as others can see us and you just don't want to see yourself for what you are. I'm sorry to have to say that, but it's true. Now, I have some business to tend to in Winnerow and then--"
"You jus' don' want me ta be near Logan. That's it, isn't it? Ya don' trust him."
"I have full confidence in my husband, Fanny. But you're right. I'm not happy to see you near him just because of the kind of thing you pulled in the cabin. I was hoping that all the things that have happened to you in your life would have helped you grow up some, but I see you still have a ways to go."
"Is that so? Well, let me tell you somethin', Miss Prim and Proper. Logan was enjoyin' ma little show up until ya drove up. I asked him ta get me the towel and he told me ta come out and get it maself. He changed his tune when he heard yer car."
"That's a lie, a terrible lie!" I yelled at her. Fanny always knew how to send me into a rage. "You're just saying these things now to hurt me."
She shrugged.
"Believe what ya want, but if ya believe in any man, yer a bigger fool than I think ya are, Heaven, and yer the one's got growin' up ta do." She pointed her finger at me and then put her hands on her hips and stood up straight and arrogant. I stared at her a moment.
"I have to go now," I said. "I can't waste any more time."
"Can't ya?" She laughed. I started toward my car. "Ya jus' can't go off and live in yer castle and leave me behind, Heaven. I ain't gonna fade into the Willies like ya'd like me ta. You and me ain't finished yet."
"I said I have to go." I hurried into my car and started the engine.
"We ain't finished yet," she called, coming down toward the car. I started away, watching her in my rearview mirror.
Despite her threats and her insinuations, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Jealousy was a sickness for her. I imagine it made her suffer a great deal. Right from the beginning, when Logan and I were sweethearts, she tried to take him from me, yet when Logan was no longer with me, she didn't pursue him She didn't want him as long as I didn't have him
How she must suffer in my shadow, I thought.
Would she ever love a man for himself and want him not because she thought he was someone I wanted or would want, but because he was someone who loved her and whom she loved truly, honestly? Perhaps Fanny wasn't capable of that kind of love. Maybe that was what she inherited from our hard life in the Willies.
FIVE Ghosts
. IN A PRETTY GLADE IN THE FOREST, A CLEARING WHERE bright wildflowers grew, I found the perfect site for the Tatterton Toy Factory. I had remembered the place because, when Tom and I were children, we would sometimes walk by it after school and lie in the sun sharing our dreams. "Heaven," Tom would say, "if I ever make enough money, I'm going to build us a home here, with the biggest picture window you ever saw."
Logan loved the site. "It will be perfect for the new factory," he said, "with its proximity to power lines and roadways." I watched him step out the land and laughed to myself as he framed the building in his mind's eye by holding up his hands, the tip of his thumbs pressed against each other, to form the foundation of this imaginary building. Suddenly he had become a full-fledged entrepreneur, an overnight corporate executive. I didn't let him see me laugh because I knew how seriously he was taking himself. He wrote down some figures on a pad, drew a rough map of the site, and then drove us back into Winnerow to see a local attorney, Barton Wilcox.
There was no better way to spread the news of the upcoming economic investment in Winnerow than to start the negotiations for land. Before Logan and I left Mr. Wilcox's office I made sure I'd told a couple of secretaries, who in turn told their friends, and soon the Winnerow phone lines were buzzing with interest and excitement. Logan called Tony to tell him about the site and Tony wired a large sum of money into an account in the Winnerow National Bank. It was then that Logan felt a real sense of power and authority, for he had control over all that money. Tony couldn't have expressed his confidence in him and won his loyalty forever in any better way.
A meeting was set up in Barton Wilcox's office between Logan and the owner of the land, who practically swooned when Logan made his initial offer. Such sums of money rarely, if ever, were discussed in relation to anything in Winnerow. After a quick conference, Logan added an additional five thousand dollars to sweeten the deal and the negotiations Were concluded. We had our factory site.
"Tony's going to be very happy with me!" Logan exclaimed afterward. He straightened his posture, standing tall and proud and with a flourish fluffed the monogrammed handkerchief in his breast pocket. "I think I fit into all this, Heaven. I really do. I have a real feel for it." He turned to me and smiled. "This is going to be wonderful," he said, taking my hand into his. "Together we are going to build the best dream this town has ever known. We're going to fill people with pride for Winnerow and put it on the map. And think of all the people we will help, people from the Willies who had no future and no hope at all before this."
I smiled at him. He was so excited. Sometimes I thought he could have enough excitement for both of us.
"You made a great decision when you decided we should live at Farthy and do this, Heaven. Really."
"I hope so, Logan." Despite his optimism, I couldn't help trembling every time I thought about our living at Farthy. The Willies still called to me. I almost felt as though I truly belonged there, despite my true heritage, that something was wrong with letting Tony change my dream. But I wasn't going to dwell on my fears. I was going to make this my dream, not Tony's. "We have a lot to do yet. What about the construction of the building?"
"Tony's bringing us to see an architect in Boston. He wants your input on that, as well as mine. Says you and I should best know what the people of Winnerow want and need. But after the factory is designed, we will use only local labor and buy materials locally. Good business sense."
"And the artisans?" I asked.
"I'll be back a number of times to search the hills for people with natural abilities. Of course, there will be a number of other jobs associated with the enter prise; there will be opportunities for many people. Just the way you envisioned, Heaven."