"Can you truthfully say she loved your father, Heaven? Please, think this question over well. It's important."
How was I to know anything about what she felt, except what I'd always heard? Yes, so Granny had said, she had loved him--because he never showed her his cruel, hateful side! "Stop asking me about her!" I cried, harassed to the point of breaking. "All my life the blame for her death has been put on my head, and now I think you're trying to put something else there as well! Give me my chance, Tony Tatterton! be obedient. I'll study hard. I'll make you proud of me!"
What was it he heard in my voice that made his head bow into his cradling hands? I wanted him to hate Pa for killing her just as much as I did. I wanted him to pledge with me a joint resolve for revenge. And with that expectation I quivered as I waited.
"You swear your obedience to abide by my decisions?" he asked, looking up quickly and narrowing his steady gaze.
"Yes!"
"Then you will never use the maze again, or seek out opportunities to visit my younger brother, Troy." My breath caught. "How did you know?"
His lips curled. "Why, he told me, little girl. He was very excited about you, how much you look like your mother, what he can remember of her."
"Why don't you want me to see him?"
He shook his head, frowning. "Troy has his own afflictions, which may well be just as fatal as your father's illness. I don't want you to be
contaminated with them--not that anything he has is contagious."
"I don't understand," I said helplessly, deeply disturbed to hear he might be ill . . and dying.
"Of course you don't understand, nobody understands Troy! Did you ever see a more handsome young man? No, of course not! Doesn't he appear remarkably healthy? Yes, of course he does. Yet he's underweight. He's been in and out of illness since the day he was born, when I was seventeen. Now do as I say, for your own good, leave Troy alone. You can't save him. Nobody can save him."
"What do you mean, I can't save him? Save him from what?"
"From himself," he said shortly, waving his hand to dismiss the subject. "All right, Heaven, sit down. Let's get down to business. I will provide you a home here and outfit you like a princess, and send you to the very best schools, and for all that I do for you, you will do just a little for me. One, as I said before, you will never tell your grandmother anything that would cause her grief. Two, you will not see Troy in secret. Three, you will never again mention your father, either by name or by reference. Four, you will do your best to forget your background and
concentrate only on improving yourself. And fifth, for all the money that I am investing in you, and for your benefit, you will give to me the right to make all important decisions in your life. Agreed?"
"What . . . what kind of important decisions?" "Agreed or not agreed."
"But . . ."
"All right, disagreed. You want to quibble. Be prepared to leave after New Year's Day."
"But I have nowhere to go!" I cried out in dismay.
"You can enjoy yourself over the next two months, and then we will part. But don't think by the time you are ready to go you will have won over your grandmother so much she will slip you enough money to see you through college, for she doesn't control the money Cleave left her--I control it. She has everything she wants, I see to that, but she is a fool with money."
I couldn't agree to something as monumental as his making choices for me, I couldn't!
"Your mother was planning to attend a special girls' school that is the best in this area. All the affluent girls cry to go there in hopes of meeting the right young man they can marry later. I expect you will meet your 'Mr. Right' there, too."
Long ago I'd met my Mr. Right, Logan Stonewall. Sooner or later Logan would take me back. He'd forgive me. He'd realize I had been a victim of circumstances . . .
Just as Keith and Our Jane were victims. My teeth came down on my lower lip. Life offered very few chances such as he was extending to me. Here in this big house, with his business in town to take him away often, we'd seldom see each other. And I didn't need Troy Tatterton in my life, not when one day soon I'd see Logan again.
"I'll stay. I agree to your conditions."
He gave me his first really warm smile. "Good. I knew you'd make the right choice. Your mother made the wrong one when she ran. Now, to simplify what might puzzle you, and make it unnecessary for you to go snooping, Jillian is sixty years old, and I am forty."
Jillian was sixty!
And Granny had been only fifty-four when she died, and she had looked ninety! Oh God, the pity of that was numbing. Still, I didn't know what to do or say, and my heart was thudding fast and furiously. Then came the relief, flooding over me, inundating me so I could breathe, relax, and even manage a tremulous smile. It would work out all right in the end. Someday I'd put Tom, Fanny, Keith, and Our Jane together again, under my very own roof. But that could wait until I had a strong, educated grasp on the future.
"Winterhaven has a waiting list yards long, but I'm sure I can pull a few strings and get you in; that is, if you are a good student. You will have to take a test to establish your grade level. Girls all over the world want to attend Winterhaven. You and I will go shopping together and leave Jillian to her own affairs.
You'll need extra warm clothes, coats, boots, hats, gloves, robes, the works. You will be