"Not right away," Ami assured him firmly. "We'll change days and times later."
"Whatever you wish," he said, and left.
Afterward Wade, Ami, and I sat together and watched television. It was really the first time we had done something remotely social together, and I saw that Wade was relaxed and happy. We laughed at the comedy show we watched. For the first time, I felt as though I was really part of a family. It was also the first time I had seen Wade and Ami show any affection toward each other. She sat beside him on the sofa and leaned against him, and he put his arm around her.
What could possibly have been their problem the night before? I wondered.
Watching them made me think of Trevor. I wondered if he was having a good time at Waverly's party and if Germaine Osterhout had dug her nails deeply into him again. She surely had to be
encouraged by my not attending the party. Wade saw the sadness in my face.
"Why are we getting her lessons on Saturday night?" he asked Ami. "Maybe she wants to go to a movie with her friends or something."
Ami looked at me, her expression urging me to answer.
"It's all right," I said. "I didn't have anything planned."
"Yes, this Saturday maybe, but what about next week?"
"If something comes up, her teacher will reschedule, Wade. We've already discussed it. Not to worry," she told him. "Right, Celeste?"
I nodded.
He looked skeptical but dropped the subject. After another ten minutes or so, I excused myself to go up to my room.
"I want to take you to the new outlet stores tomorrow," Ami shouted after me. "Plan for it."
"She must have other things to do beside go shopping constantly with you, Ami," I heard Wade tell her. I paused to hear her reply.
"We might see a movie, too," Ami told him.
"I'd like to see her go places with kids her age," he insisted.
"She will. Don't worry so much. Just give her some time to make sincere friends. She's very perceptive and very particular," Ami replied.
They were quiet, so I continued up to my room. I went right to the bathroom and then took off my clothes and put on one of the sheer nightgowns Ami had gotten me. I suddenly realized, however, that I wasn't that tired. I pulled back my blanket, but instead of crawling into bed, I felt myself drawn to the moonlight and went to one of my windows.
I sat on the edge of the sill and looked out at the moonlit lawn and trees, all silhouetted and silent like dedicated sentinels keeping guard over the house and grounds. Sitting there reminded me of my life on the farm before I was permitted to be outside during the daylight hours. I felt as imprisoned and as aloof from the real world. I was a girl locked in a bubble again, wishing I could simply open my window and fly away like one of the beautiful birds I used to watch. How wonderful it would be to have that freedom, I thought, and recalled the heavy blanket of sadness and self-pity I wore on my tiny shoulders back then.
I wasn't even aware that I was crying until I felt a tear fall off my chin and touch my face. Suddenly, in the window, I thought I saw Noble's reflection, saw him standing behind me, looking sad, but before I spun around, I heard what sounded like hail hitting the glass.
In an instant Noble's image was gone.
But I saw something better, something I wanted to see even more, something I had wished for and fantasized so hard, I made it come true.
When I looked out and down, I saw Trevor Foley standing in a pool of moonlight, looking up at me.
12 Sweet Sorrow
.
I opened my window and poked my head out. "What are you doing here?" I called down to
him.
"The party stunk," he said. "I thought I'd drop
by. I saw your piano teacher leave, and I was