To see it cast aside so casually both saddened and angered me.
Basil was waiting for me the following afternoon to take me on another driving lesson. He put me through every maneuver he could and seemed more determined for me to pass my driving test than I was. When I mentioned it, he said he wanted to be sure he was leaving his car in good hands.
The next day Ami was there promptly after school to take me to her doctor, a female doctor named Dr. Bloomfield. She put me though a full physical, including blood tests and X-rays. She even gave me a gynecological exam. Although not all the blood tests were in, she told Ami I was in perfect health.
"There's nothing wrong with her? Nothing happened as a result of . . ." And started to ask.
"No, nothing," the doctor told her. "She's fine. Someday she'll have wonderful, healthy children, I'm sure. You have no worries, Mrs. Emerson," she said.
Ami looked very relieved. I had had no fears about it before we came and expected no other response.
"When are you being examined for your headaches?" I asked her when we started out of the office.
"I was already. It's nothing," she said quickly.
Two days later, Basil took me for my driving test after school. He did appear to know people at the motor vehicle bureau. When I returned with the examiner, I was told immediately that I had passed the test, and I was given a temporary license.
"We'll celebrate tonight," he declared when he left me off at the house. "Tell Ami I'm making reservations at Fishers Lobster Pot."
I thought about all my homework, but he was so excited, and I was in such a happy daze, I dared not mention it. I would just do it all later, I thought. And was excited for me, and when Wade returned from work, he was full of congratulations as well, though of course he was more reserved. Later, when I was getting dressed to go out to dinner, I had a bout of cramps and discovered my period was starting. The moment Ami came in to check on my preparations, I told her.
She clapped her hands.
"Thank goodness," she said.
"I told you there was no danger, And. Despite what happened, Trevor is a very responsible young man."
"That's an oxymoron," she said. "You know, like cruel kindness, a seeming contradiction? A young man by definition can't be responsible."
"That can't be true for all of them, And, can it?" I asked in frustration.
She stared at me a moment and then smiled.
"No, I guess not. You're right," she said. "I shouldn't put all my prejudices into you. You have a right to form your own opinions. I just want you to be careful and not to ruin everything now that you have this wonderful new beginning. Promise me," she asked.
"I promise, And," I said, although I wasn't quite sure what it was I was promising.
"Good. Now let's go out and celebrate the hell out of the Emersons," she added, and laughed.
She was suddenly back to being jovial and happy. The migraines were gone, as if the coming of my period was the cure to all her woes.
Little did I know then that it would be the beginning of all mine, but I was never good at predicting anything for myself, only for others.
That was especially true when I looked at Wade. I didn't like what I saw in his face that night, saw in his eyes and heard in his voice. The more Basil offered to do for me, the happier he was for me and the more excited he was about showing me things, the sadder Wade became. I wondered if there wasn't some jealousy. Was he upset that his father was so interested in me, or did it bother him that his father was doing more for me than he was for his own grandchildren and daughter now? All these
possibilities rambled through my mind.
Basil surprised me as well as Wade when at dinner he suggested he would put up the money to send me to a fine college.
"Ami told me that school she attends gets their graduates into the best universities. Can't let a little thing like tuition stop her. We've discussed it."
"Since when is one college any better than another to you, Dad?" Wade asked. He glanced at me. "I mean, I've always thought so, but--"
"This is a very bright young woman. We don't want to see her waste her talents and skills in any mediocre place, now, do we?" Basil said. "Huh, Ami?"
"What? Oh, no," she said. "Of course not."
"Well, then. . . what are you looking so long in the face about, Wade? Don't you want good things for your unfortunate?"