"What is it?" I knew it was fruitless to ask. She would never reveal her secret formulas because she believed to do so would reduce their effectiveness.
"Never mind what it is. It will strengthen you." She held it out. "The faster you cooperate, the faster this will all end."
I thought about jumping up and running out. but I was afraid. Why hadn't Daddy come to me all this time? Why hadn't he spoken to her as well? Was she right? Had something evil taken on his appearance to fool me?
"You know in your heart that I know what's best for you, for all of us. Noble," she said softly. She reached out and caressed my cheek. She hadn't done it so lovingly for so long. I closed my eyes, enjoying the touch of her hand on me and all that it brought. "Go on," she urged.
I reached out and took the glass. Whatever was in it was yellow. I was sure at least it was some combination of herbs. I knew what she thought about the protective powers of ivy, juniper and garlic, milkwort, and ragwort, among others. Mama expected that someday I would take over producing her remedies, so from time to time she explained them and showed me how she mixed them. There were, however, so many, and so many that carried mystical and spiritual authority.
As usual. I hated the taste and had to close my eyes to drink. I did it as fast as I could. She explained again as she had explained before that it wasn't meant to be tasty. It was meant to be thought of as medicine. Just as there was medicine for the body, there was medicine for the soul. Mama saw spiritual qualities in everything, It was how she had taught me to see the world around us as well, even the world outside our house.
My stomach gurgled and I sat back on the bed.
She took out my chamber pot, emptied it, and then returned. "Can't I go out now, Mama?"
"Soon, Sleep first."
"Where's the baby?"
"The baby is fine. Worry about yourself for now," she told me, and left. I heard the door being locked.
Even though the darkness thickened. I didn't bother putting on a light. I lay back in my bed. The drink was already making me feel hot and dizzy. Nausea came and went, and suddenly I felt that I was sinking in the bed, but as I was sinking. I was rising. too. The spiritual part of me was lifting out of my body. I was hovering over myself.
And then I thought I saw our family spirits come into my room and walk slowly around my bed, circling and circling. I recognized many from their pictures. Everyone's eyes were closed. No one would look at me. I cried out. I begged, but no one responded.
Slowly they filed out until they were all gone. Then I sank back into my body.
And I slept.
In the morning Mama opened my door. She had Baby Celeste in her arms and she was smiling.
"See." she told Baby Celeste. "Noble is fine again."
I rubbed my eyes and, using my elbows, pushed myself up to sit. I was still groggy and a little dizzy.
"Rise and shine. You have to get up now, Noble.. We have a lot to do. I want everything to look as nice as it can. We have work to finish,
"Dave came over last night while you were asleep, and he formally proposed to me.
"And I said yes." She held out her hand. The large diamond glittered in the light as if the light originated with it.
"He gave you a ring?"
"Of course. It was his mother's, too. It has a nice energy to it. For now anyway."
"You're formally engaged?"
"Yes. Noble. Were formally engaged," she said. smirking. "Sometimes I think thoughts sink into your head like a stone in thick mud. An hour later you realize what you had heard."
She shook her head at me and then smiled.
"We're going to have a real wedding, too, and here on our farm. So you see, there is a lot to do. Now you understand why I had begun.
"Wash up and come down to breakfast." She turned and left.
I sat there, still feeling dazed. Then I started to get up, slipping my feet into my shots. He gave her a ring. There was going to be a wedding. It was really happening.
I thought I heard a loud sobbing and went to my window. Below, I saw Noble standing and looking up at me.