You did well," she said, sitting on the settee. She smiled. "It wasn't as hard as you thought it would be either. was it?"
I didn't know what to say, so I just shook my head. She leaned back and looked up at the ceiling.
"You know what he said to me tonight? He said two people like us don't belong alone. Together, we could make a whole new life for ourselves, far the children."
"What did he mean?" I asked, unable to hide my fear.
"What did he mean? What did he mean? How can you be so clever at times and then so stupid at others? It was as close as he could come to asking me to marry him. That's what he meant."
"But... what did you say?" The very idea of it was terrifying.
"I didn't say anything. Noble. A woman doesn't leap at a man's first offer. She doesn't make herself sound desperate or even that interested. Instead, she fills him with doubts so his own confidence dw
indles."
"Why?"
"So he knows that when a woman says yes, if she does, its a woman's decision, fully, and it's a woman's gift. That way," she added, turning her tone darker and gazing down at the floor. "no matter what happens, its his fault."
"You're not thinking of saving yes ever, are you. Mama?" I asked, thinking of my promise to Daddy.
"Of course, I am."
"But I thought all you wanted was to have him blamed for fathering Celeste.. You said people are thinking that already. Why do you have to carry this any further?"
"What did I tell you about challenging my decisions, their decisions," she emphasized, her eyes wide and full of gathering rage.
"Maybe it isn't their decision. Mama. Maybe you're hearing the wrong voices, evil voices pretending to be good." Never before in my life had I dared make such a suggestion to her, but it seemed a reasonable way to disagree.
She lifted her head and turned her eyes toward me so slowly, it made my blood cold. Her eves grew smaller as she scrutinized me.
"What are you saving? Who have you heard? 'Who has been visiting you, Noble?" she asked quickly.
I took a deep breath and sat on Grandfather's chair. How careful my words had to be. "I've seen Elliot," I said. "I've heard him, too. He's warned me that if you continue with his father, he will have more power to do us harm."
For a long moment she looked as if she was considering what I had said. Some hope
filled my heart. Then her expression of suspicion returned and she looked at me hard again.
"Did he come into this house?'
I started to shake my head, but my eyes were already saving yes. She nearly jumped at me. He did, didn't he? 'When?"
"When you were away with Mr. Fletcher."
She smiled, but it was not a warm smile. The smile was carved out of ice.
"What did you do. Noble? What did you do to him entry into our world? Tell me!" she screamed.
"Nothing."
She shook her head. "You might as well wave a flag with the words I'm lying written on it in my face," she said softly. "You know that. Well?"
It was suddenly hard to breathe. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me, and as they moved toward me, the air thickened and thickened, squeezing my ribs. I looked about frantically.
Daddy, I thought. Daddy, where are you? I need your help. Why aren't you here? Daddy? You came to me so quickly before. You told me what to do. Please. Daddy. I need you. She'll listen to you. Please.
I looked about frantically.