I managed to nod and she continued through the house, rambling off a catalog of improvements that even involved her own bedroom.
The rain slowed. The drops changed from fingernails to tears on the panes, and in one, the water seemed to form the outline of a head, Elliot's head. I hurried away.
I thought perhaps that Mama had just been talking and didn't mean half the things she had said, but in the days that followed. Mama pursued this new and relentless determination to spruce up our home. She was often gone for a good part of every day shopping and visiting with decorators.
In the evening she would spread out the samples of carpets, wallpaper, and paint colors on the living room floor and analyze not only the
combinations, but what she called the aura of colors. White, for example, had an aura of high spiritual energy. With pink she felt pure love. She found nature and natural health in brown.
"How do you know all this. Mama? How do you see it?" I asked her as she studied the variations and combinations.
"I don't see it through my eves. I see it in my mind. I can see colors around a person and that tells me their emotions, their thoughts. Energy flows in and out of us every day. Noble, and what we contain, absorb, and reflect tells a great deal about us.
"Each color has its own vibrations. Someday, you'll be able to feel them as I do." She paused and looked at Celeste, who was drawn to the whites and the pinks. "As. I believe, Baby Celeste already does,' she added in a soft whisper.
"When will I be able to do that. too?"
"When you are not distracted by other, far less significant things." Mama replied with criticism in her voice. "When you can concentrate and meditate and take the time to experience them with the
concentration they require."
What did she mean by distractions, by far less significant things? What had I done or said to let her make these statements, these accusations? Did she see something in me that I couldn't see in myself?
"Let me concentrate," she said before I could ask. "I need to make the right decisions. Seeing how well Mr. Fletcher has done in his own home has inspired me."
Despite how she made that sound, from the way she spoke about her choices and the
ones Dave Fletcher had made in his home, I began to believe she was thinking in terms of setting some sort of spiritual trap.
What's more, the prospect of people coming to work in the house in the near future first put same panic in me. Then I thought. What about Baby Celeste? Did this mean we would finally reveal her? I'd like that and so would Baby Celeste. Perhaps all this wouldn't be bad, after all.
She answered that question the night before the drapery man came to measure the windows she wanted redone,
"What will we do about Baby Celeste when he comes to work in the house, Mama? And when others come?"
She paused and smiled.
"Remember that book Celeste read aloud to you, the one that disturbed you so much?" she began.
I had read only a few books to Noble. He never wanted to sit still long enough to listen. but Mama made him, hoping that he would develop an interest in learning and become a better student. He didn't, but the one book that did keep him mesmerized and did disturb him was The Diary of Anne Frank, and that was because he couldn't imagine being so locked up and made to be so quiet so much of the time.
Noble was truly like a wild creature when he was outside. He hated coming in to eat, to do our studies, and to sleep, and if he was sick and had to stay inside, he was unhappy. He would sit by the window and stare out like a prisoner in a dungeon. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor heavy snowfalls deterred him. Mama used to think he was tuned in to the spiritual energy in nature more than I was, but that proved to be a disappointment.
The length of time Anne Frank and her family were locked away and their restricted lifestyle both terrified and intrigued Noble. He had so many questions. How do you choke back a cough, a sneeze, a cry?
"Yes. I remember," I said.
"Well, that's how it will be when they're here. Noble. Obviously, it will be for a longer time than when I have a customer stop by. You might be up there with Baby Celeste all day."
"All day?"
"I'll bring you lunch, but you'll have to keep her especially quiet when they're working on my bedroom. I'm having a few things done, including new carpet. I would say you could come down when she's asleep, but if she wakes up and you're not there with her, she would be upset. If s a small sacrifice for you to make."
I was quiet.
"What is it. Noble? I can see your mind spinning like a leaf caught in the creek."
"You told me they said we cannot keep Baby Celeste locked away from the world too much longer."