He kicked a stone and then sat on a rock near me.
"Fortunately," he continued, smiling again. "my new girlfriend drives."
"New girlfriend?"
"Yeah, her name's Harmony Ross. Her parents are divorced, and she lives with her mother and her younger sister. Tiffany. Her mother is a paralegal and works for an important attorney. She's a knockout. Harmony and her look more like sisters than mother and daughter. Anyway. Harmony's mother's act a boyfriend, a bank executive, so Harmony has the house often. She told me everything about herself and her family. Her mother and father were divorced when she was only five, and he has nothing to do with them anymore, but they have some money, and she has the house. Its a really nice house."
He smiled.
"This was the first time I made love to a zirl in her own bed."
I stared at him.
"You don't believe me again?"
"Why shouldn't I believe you?" I said, looking away, "We did it on the second date, too,' he bragged.
I stood up and clapped my hands for Cleo.
"I told her about you," he continued, and I spun around. "What do you mean, told her about me?"
"Take it easy. She was really curious, and the next day, when she told her girlfriend Roberta. Roberta at very, very interested. They think you're fascinating," he added with a wry smile. "Of course. I built it up a little."
"I bet you did," I said.
"Doesn't hurt anyone. Actually, it made me a big shot," he said.
"Why?"
"Why? No one knows much about you. You're hardly ever seen anywhere. I could have told them you had horns growing out of your head, and they would have believed me."
"Who cares what they believe?" I snapped and started away.
"Relax. I didn't say anything terrible," he quickly told me and caught up. "Actually, I made you look really good. I told them you were really a very nice guy, full of interesting information about the woods, the animals, a true nature boy who could talk to birds. Roberta was practically champing at the bit. She can't wait to meet you. You'll thank me when you meet her. too. I've practically laid out your path to glory."
I stopped and squinted.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"She'll put out for you without much effort on your part. Just so she can say she's been with you, stupid."
"How do you know I want to be with her?" I asked, partly out of curiosity. How would he know?
He raised his eyebrows and smiled.
"Talk about my sister being built. Wait until You see Roberta Beckman, and from what I hear, she's easy, a little booze or a joint."
"Joint?"
"Marijuana. stupid. You've heard of it?"
"Yes. I've heard of it."
"So. That, a couple of kisses on the neck, and it's open sesame."
"Who says I want to see her?"
"Get off it. You want to. I decided to help you," he added, sounding magnanimous. "What good is all my experience if I don't put it to use to help a buddy. huh?"