/> "Well. I'm not. I won't be carrying bedpans and breaking my nails changing bandages and such."
"There's home nursing care when we need it," Daddy told her, his voice just above a whisper. "Stop your worrying. Lena. You'll be fine. all be fine."
"Right. Getting in the way of a bullet. I do declare. Cameron. I never wanted you to do this job. You shoulda... shoulda drove a taxi or something."
Daddy widened his smile. but I could see he was fading again fast. "Don't worry," he whispered and fell asleep.
"You'll have to leave." the nurse said quickly.
"Leave? We haven't been here five minutes!" Mama cried.
"Please," the nurse insisted,
I took Mama's arm and practically walked her out forcibly. She muttered to herself until we were in the hall.
"You see his face when he looked up at me? I knew I wasn't looking my best." she cried. "We rushed here for five minutes. I'm going home," she said. "I'll be back tomorrow or when I can see him for a sensible visit. I'm so tired from all this. Ice. It's as if the bullets hit me. too."
Mama was more comfortable feeling sorry for herself and getting me to sympathize. I took her home, checked on Daddy with a phone call later and then made dinner for Mama and myself. She wanted me to return to school the next day. but I wouldn't do it. I went to the hospital and saw Daddy without her in the morning. He had improved some more and was stronger and more alert.
"Don't let this stop you from following your plans, Ice. Please," he begged me. "I was so proud of you at the concert."
"I don't know, Daddy. We've got so much more to think about now."
"There's nothing more. I'll be fine and so will your mama," he insisted. "Promise me," he insisted. "Promise."
"Okay, Daddy." I said. "I promise."
"Good." He closed his eyes with some relief. "Good," he said and fell asleep.
The news about Daddy spread fast through the school. When I returned the next day, everyone, especially my teachers, asked about him. Balwin was very attentive, feeling even worse about the
misunderstanding that had occurred between us.
"You're still going to work on the audition, aren't you?" he asked. "I don't know," I said. "Our lives are changed now. Daddy's going to require a long period of recuperation and I'm not sure about costs and money. I don't know." I told him. He looked sicker about it than I was.
"Well, you should practice and keep up anyway," he said. "Just in case it works out"
"I don't know whereI'll find the time." I said.
Now, as soon as school ended every day. I rushed over to the hospital to be with Daddy. Mama didn't visit as much and hated being in a hospital. I started to complain about it. but Daddy stopped me and said he was better off being around her only when she was happy. I understood and ignored her selfishness as best I could.
When Daddy was moved to a room. I found I could be a real help, assisting the nurse's aides, getting him things he needed or wanted or just amusing him. Every once in a while, he would look at me and make me repeat my promise to go forward with my plans. Finally, one day it dawned on him that I was spending so much time in the hospital. I couldn't be practicing my music.
"You've got your homework and end of the year exams. I know," he said. "Why are you spending so much time here. Ice? That boy still wants to help you. right?"
"Daddy--"
"You promised int. child. You telling me you're not keeping up the promise? You're my hope. Ice. I don't want to get out of this bed if you don't try. Well?"
"All right. Daddy." I said. All right. I'll go back to practicing."
That satisfied him. It was left as an
understanding between us, however, that I wouldn't discuss it with Mama. We both knew it would just create more tension in an already tense household.
She made her appearances when she thought she looked pretty enough. She paraded in as if she had just come off a model's runway. We could smell her perfume ten minutes before she arrived. When Daddy told her so, she shook her head angrily and said. "Well. I've got to do something to keep these putrid hospital odors out of my nose. don't I? You walk out of here smelling like a nurse if you don't," she insisted.
Daddy and I looked at each other and laughed.