I closed my eyes and recited. "The color of roses lives in my eyes long after they have faded and gone. I lock the scent within my heart and then I sleep, they bloom once more."
I sighed and then looked at Clarence. He seemed about to cry himself. His eyes shone brilliantly with unused tears.
"Wow," he said.
"Sometimes. I really feel her beside me," I whispered. "When I'm very sad and alone. I close my eyes and I sense her fingers moving against mine."
I put my hand on Clarence's and he jerked back.
"You're kidding?"
"No," I said. "It's true. You can feel the love and the energy they left here. Close your eyes," I told him, "Relax and put everything out of your mind. Just conjure up her face. Go on." I urged and took his hand again. He let me hold his fingers and draw him closer to me.
We sat together, our eyes closed, holding hands, listening to our own hearts beat.
"Belva," I whispered. Then I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
He acted as if he had been stung. "Why did you do that?"
"I couldn't help it. Belva made me do it," I said. "She takes me over sometimes. I think she sees you as her young captain when he was first courting her. She gets excited again and full of joy. Do you feel anything inside you?"
He cocked his head. considering. "What should I feel?" he asked.
"A strange warmth, but a pleasant warmth. When you look at me, what do you see?" I asked bringing my face closer. "Look into my eyes, deeply."
He no
dded.
"Yeah. I see what you mean. I think."
"Yes, you do," I told him. "I feel it, too. They're in us, taking us over."
I kissed him on the lips and then I did it again and he moved closer and put his arm around me, drawing me into him. I started to lie back, unbuttoning my blouse as I did so. He hovered over me, his eyes full of excitement, amazed. I reached up for him, drawing his face toward me, his lips to my breasts. He kissed me and for a moment I held onto him as if I were drowning. He moved completely over me and we kissed again and again.
"Wait," I said and sat up to strip off my blouse. I wasn't wearing a bra.
"God, you're beautiful. Cinnamon. I've been afraid to say it. but I always thought so. Right from the first time I set eyes on you."
"Yes. Captain Arnold said something just like that to Belva," I told him. "Don't you see? It's happening just the way it happened to them. We must make love," I decided. "We must make this night the most special night of our lives and then hold it in our hearts forever and ever."
He nodded and started to undress. I slipped my jeans down and moments later, both of us naked, we embraced. We kissed until we were breathless and then, as if coming to his senses. Clarence pulled away abruptly.
"I could get you in trouble," he said. He shook his head. "I feel like Mrs, Miller is standing next to us, warning us about safe sex like she does in health education. I'm not exactly prepared for this."
I smiled at him.
"You're always the gentleman, sir, considerate as well as loving. That's what Belva said to her captain."
"I want to make love to you. Cinnamon, more than anything," he said mournfully.
"Me too, but you're right, Captain." He laughed.
"Wait," I said. "I have an idea."
I rose, wrapped the afghan around inc and told him I'd be right back. He covered himself with his jacket. I tiptoed out of the attic, down the short stairway to Mommy and Daddy's room. Long ago, I had gone in there curious and explored. I discovered where Daddy kept his contraceptives. They were still where I had first found them. As soon as I had one. I rushed back to the attic.
Clarence was exactly where and how I had left him as if he feared a movement no matter how slight in either direction would shatter the magic. I stepped before him and opened my hand. His eyes widened.