me how to block out unpleasantness. She told me to
count until I was so tired, I would fall asleep again.
Reluctantly, because I begged her, she would leave a
light on in the bathroom.
"One night nearly two weeks after the
disastrous party at Kelly's and all the questions and
lying, I heard my door open and close and my father
stood in the darkness at my bedside.
"'What's wrong?' he asked 'I thought I heard
you cry out when I came up from getting myself a
glass of milk.'
"He did that if he ever had any trouble sleeping.
He once told me that sometimes numbers from the
stock market keep playing as if he had a ticker tape
machine in his head as soon as he closed his eyes. "I just turned my head into the pillow until I felt
his hand on my shoulder and felt him sit on my bed. "'Something wrong with my special girl?' he
asked. I couldn't help myself. I started to cry again.
He stroked my hair and waited.
" 'What is it?' he asked. 'You can tell me. Did
someone do something or say something that upset
you?'
"'Yes,' I admitted in a small voice.
"'Yes what?' he demanded. 'It's better you tell
me,' he added.
"I swallowed down my tears and quietly told
him what had happened at Kelly's house. He listened
without speaking, but I could feel his eyes fixed
firmly on me, even in the dark.
"'Is it my fault?' I wanted to know. 'Am I bad?' "'No, no,' he said, and then he leaned over and
put his lips to my ear and added, 'There's good touching and bad. You shouldn't be afraid of the good