No one laughed at my attempt at sick humor. I guess it wasn't really funny.
"'Are you all right now?' my mother asked. `Do you need to see a doctor?'
"'No,' I said. I meant I'm not all right, but she took it to mean I didn't have to see a doctor.
"'Well, just take it easy. I know you're probably nervous about your appointment with the judge at the end of the month, but it will be fine. That stupid Felix,' she added. 'He's such a . . . what would you say, dork?'
"She waited to see if I appreciated her attempt to speak the lingo. I just stared and she smiled and shook her head and hurried away.
"My father arrived just before dinner. Mother was in the office barking orders at Felix. My father put down his leather case that contained his drawings and listened to her shouting for a moment.
"'The world of beautiful people appears to be in a crisis,' he declared and laughed.
"There was a time when he would feel sorry for her, sympathize and even offer some suggestions. How far apart they've grown in a few short months, I thought.
"'And how's my favorite scholar? Did you knock them dead at the induction, make a speech or something?' he wondered.
"'I didn't go,' I told him. 'I wasn't feeling well.' "'Oh, too bad. What was wrong?'
"'Stomachache,' I said, and he nodded.
"'Woman stuff?'
"Whenever I had a stomachache or a headache, that was a convenient explanation for him. It was his excuse for not really worrying.
"'Right,' I said, thinking, why bother?
&n
bsp; "He refreshed himself quickly and came to dinner just after my mother finished her phone calls and we began the charade of another family dinner with storm clouds looming above:'
"I think I was better off having my father move out," Misty said.
"You're right about that," Star seconded.
"I guess I would agree with both of you now," I said. "Their conversation was clipped, short and shaded with nasty innuendos. Neither really cared to know about the other's day. I suppose neither of them wanted to appear weak by asking a nice question. Before the dinner ended, they managed to get in another argument about me.
"'She didn't go to the Honor Society induction,' my mother declared just before coffee and dessert.
"'I heard,' my father said.
"'I'm sure she was upset about having neither of us attending and that gave her a nervous stomach,' my mother said.
"'Whose fault is that?' my father countered.
"It was as though I wasn't even there while they argued. Can you understand why I felt I was becoming more and more invisible, a shadow of myself?" I asked the girls. They all nodded.
"My mother wiped her mouth with her napkin and reached into her purse which she had brought to the table and placed on the floor beside her chair. When she had done that, I wondered about it, but I didn't ask. All the while she had anticipated this argument and was preparing for it, I discovered, and so did my father.
"She plucked her appointment book out of her purse and flipped through the pages.
"'It's very clear that it was your turn to escort Jade to one of her school functions,' she said. 'If you want to check the calendar, it's right here. I went to the P.T.A. function two weeks ago while you were embroiled in a creative meeting in Pasadena. I have it written down. Care to look?' she said, holding out the book.
"My father glanced at me and then turned back to her, furious.
"'You never mentioned the schedule before the two of us planned our appointments,' he said through his clenched teeth. That's probably where I get doing that. It's one of his precious gifts to me: clenched teeth during anger.
"'I didn't think I would have to remind you of an obligation to your own daughter,' she returned sharply.