“Do you want your ex to be miserable?”
She stops tapping and cocks her head to the side. “No. I guess I don’t.”
“Does that mean we can fuck then?”
Chapter Twelve
Faith
“Fine.” I turn, heading toward the bedroom. I post the pictures to my Instagram as I head down the hallway. I have a moment of regret as I do. I’m not sure I want to share my special moment with Conn. Then I remember what this is really about. I pull the giant sweater over my head, dropping it as I go. “No pie for me,” I snip. “We’ll fuck, as you like to put it.” I let my bra drop next as I enter his bedroom.
I don’t know why I’m so mad at him for calling it fucking. Of course, it’s what he wants to do. He’s done everything that I’ve asked today. From getting the tree to decorating and even letting me take some pictures, so I guess it’s my turn to return the favor. In the end, all men are the same when it comes to wanting sex.
Well, everyone besides my ex, who never wanted to have it. That was, until our relationship was over and then all of a sudden he wanted to fuck. I really shouldn’t be mad at Conn. I’d pretty much been the one to ask him to take my cherry. I just thought it would be a little different. I wanted to spend a little time getting to know him but like I said, I shouldn’t be mad.
This was the plan all along so we might as well get to it. I have been using him to post stupid pictures to make everyone back home think that I am happy. That I didn’t need them to have a holiday. That I could have one all on my own with someone else. I always planned our family’s, but they never cared about how much effort I put into it. It’s not that I want to upset them, but I want them to see for once that I was a part of the family. That maybe they might miss me now that I’m not there. I’m not even sure why I care but I do.
A small spark of hope lit inside of me when Conn said he was going to get the tree because he knew it would make me happy. It made me think that someone finally cared about how I felt about something. But now I see that it’s not that at all. He was only going through the motions to get what he wanted. It is still about the sex. Again, I shouldn’t be mad because I do want to have sex with Conn but secretly I was wanting it to be more. The little time that I have spent with Conn has made me happy. It’s only been hours since I met my grumpy lumberjack, who keeps denying that he’s even a lumberjack, and I am getting attached. I’m basically a stage five clinger at this point.
I pull down my pants next, dropping them to the floor. I notice in Conn’s spotless house that I seem to make a lot of messes. I turn to the door but he isn’t there.
“Are we fucking or what?” I shout. Why isn’t he coming? Out of nowhere it sounds like a damn bear is barreling down the hall.
“Watch your mouth,” he says as he enters his bedroom. He looks as pissed as ever. He stops short when he sees me standing there completely naked. I’m not embarrassed of my body, so I put my hand on my hip because he’s about to get a piece of my mind. I stand there in all my naked glory as he scowls at me and I do the same to him.
“So you can say fuck but I can’t?” I raise my other hand, placing it on my other hip. He tries to be a gentleman and keep his eyes on mine but I can tell it’s taking every bit of self-control he has. I actually think I see a small smile grace those lips of his. He’s already seen me naked before. I was spread out on his bed as he feasted on me.
“Don’t talk about it as if it doesn’t have any meaning.” Now he’s the one getting pissy about the word fuck. I’m not sure if my lumberjack is coming or going. I’m not even sure if he knows. Why can’t we call it something else? Lovemaking? I feel my cheeks heat at my own thoughts.
He slowly approaches me. I soften a little the closer he gets. He stops in front of me, seeming to breathe me in. My nipples tighten and it’s not from the cold. His presence has me wet between my thighs. His hand reaches up to caress my face. “Get dressed. I hear there are Christmas movies on tv tonight.”