She offers me a weak smile before heading into the kitchen. I sit beside Hilary. I just want to be here for her. I reach for her hand, but she pulls away. I know she’s emotionally drained. I take her hand anyway, and this time she doesn’t let go. I pull her into me and she rests her head on my shoulder.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” I whisper. I pull a piece of her hair into my other hand and gently twirl it around my finger.
She breaks her gaze from the wall and turns to face me. “I killed him, Lance. I shot him.” Her words lack emotion. It’s like talking to a zombie but I don’t blame her at all.
“I know.”
“He was going to kill me. His eyes were so dark and full of hate.”
“I’m so sorry, Hil. I’m not leaving your side.”
“He’s gone now. I don’t want to go to my room again. It’s ruined.”
“Shh, come here. It’s going to be okay. Just relax. I’m here.”
She doesn’t say another word. I just hold her. Her mom comes from the kitchen and sets two cans of soda on the coffee table. I thank her, and she steps outside to meet her husband.
I reach for a can of soda and offer it to Hilary. She slowly grabs it and before it can slip from her hands, I catch it. “If you’re thirsty, I’ll hold it for you.”
She shakes her head. I place it back on the table before softly kissing her forehead. A few minutes pass before her mom and dad walk back in the house. “The cops just left. If they have any other questions, they’ll call.”
Hilary looks over to her father. “Thank you.”
“Everything is okay now, Hilary. It’s all over.”
A tear falls down her cheek. “Then why do I keep seeing it happen over and over again?”
I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through, but I do know that I’ll do whatever I can to help her get through this. “It may take some time to get past this, Hilary,” her father says. “But together we all will. If you need to talk to anyone, your mom and I are here.”
She nods in agreement, and pulls her hand away from mine. “I just need to go to the bathroom.”
We all watch as she walks slowly down the hall. I grab my phone out of my pocket and text Howard, letting him know I won’t be at the gym in the morning. I know he won’t get it until he wakes up, but right now Hilary is my priority. He’ll understand.
Chapter 29
Hilary
The whole scene plays over and over again in my head. Everything from when I walked into the bedroom to the gun firing into Travis’s chest. It’s like a movie scene on repeat except it’s my life. I’m glad Lance is here but I don’t really know how to talk to him about this, so I haven’t said much other than what he already knows. I could sit there and pretend I’m okay, but the truth is I’m far from it.
I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I stare at the closed shower curtain. I don’t feel safe anymore. I feel l
ike the boogeyman is still lurking around, even though I just killed him. Carefully, I walk over to the curtain and yank it back. I find an empty bathtub. I’m losing my mind.
He invaded my home and now I don’t even feel safe here anymore. His memory has tainted everything. I put the toilet seat down and sit. I didn’t need to go to the bathroom, I just needed a minute to myself. I haven’t had a minute to myself since it happened. I was bombarded by police who wanted to know exactly what happened. I almost wondered for a second if they were going to arrest me.
Officer Brice told me they were treating it as a self-defense case. I mean, that’s what it was. I told him I have no reason to lie to them. Another officer came to hear my story and I never faltered. He got the same exact story I told Officer Brice. I didn’t leave anything out.
I’m exhausted. I want to go to sleep and try to forget this night but I just can’t close my eyes without seeing everything. A light knock at the door shakes me from my thoughts. With a monotone voice, I tell whoever it is to come in. Lance walks in and kneels in front of me.
“I’m worried about you, Hil.”
“I’m not okay. I don’t know that I’ll ever be okay.”
“You will be. You have your mom and dad, and you have me. I know you’re still scared and it’s going to take time.”
“I’m a murderer.” I sob.
“No, you aren’t. Why don’t you come back and lie on the couch. I won’t leave. I’ll stay with you all night.”