“But he’s really being reasonable, Edward. I mean, like therapy reasonable, couple reasonable. I didn’t think he was even capable of that, even to pretend.”
“He’s as good an actor as I am, Anita. Don’t be fooled.”
“You mean the way you fooled Donna?” I asked.
“Donna knows as much as she’s comfortable knowing about who I am.”
Since I’d been in their wedding and spent quite a bit of time around them and the kids, I could only agree. “Fair enough, and I’m sorry if I put you in the same category as Olaf, but he seems to really be trying.”
“Trying how?”
I told Edward about the hand on the knee at breakfast and me reading Olaf the riot act. “And just now he asked permission before he touched my face.”
I actually didn’t want to admit that Olaf had asked for a kiss and I’d said yes. I was embarrassed or scared or something. The moment I realized just how conflicted I was about the last few minutes with Olaf, I knew why I’d run to Edward like some damsel in distress.
“You look calmer,” he said.
“I think we can stop hugging now,” I said.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I figured it out.”
He let me back out of the hug and then asked, “What did you figure out?”
“I’m not upset because Olaf behaved badly. I’m fucking freaked out because he’s behaving so well.”
“You said that already, and it still makes no sense.”
“Yeah, it does, if you’re inside my head.”
Edward actually smiled at that. “Well, I’m not, so say it out loud.”
“I’m trying to explain it.” I stared up at him, frowning. “You once told me that Olaf agreed to try vanilla sex with me, which was the first time you knew of him being willing to try that with anyone.”
“I remember.”
“I can’t remember if you encouraged me to just let him think I’d have sex with him or to have sex with him.”
“Both at different times, I think,” he said.
“Okay. Where are you on the question right now?”
“No real sex. Just play along.”
“Good, but I can’t keep pretending, Edward. Olaf is actually doing what I ask him to do so we can get to a point of going out on a date.”
“No, Anita.”
“I don’t mean sex but dating, like doing something together to get to know each other better.”
“He won’t understand what that means, Anita.”
“I agree, but if he’s working this hard to try to meet me halfway, then it seems shitty that I won’t go through with it.”
“Run that by me again slowly,” Edward said, studying my face.
“If I won’t actually date him, then it’s shitty to let him keep believing that I will.”