“That’s why you sent me away before, isn’t it?” Carly asked.
He could be a coward and deny it. Or… “Yes.” He wasn’t a fucking coward.
“And that’s why you were going to let me go again?”
“Yes.” More a growl than anything else.
“I’d like to hear the words, Ethan.”
“And I would like to strip you and fuck you right here.” Each breath seemed to burn his lungs. “You know what I am. I’m not good. Not some fucking hero. I’m a killer. I’ve lied, I’ve stolen, and I’ve done anything and everything necessary for survival. But the worst part of me…it’s the part that is so desperate for you. I see you, and I want. I want to take. I want to consume. I want to possess you forever. And that right there tells me that what I feel for you, it’s all twisted up. It’s wrong. It’s not what you deserve and—”
“I would like to strip you and fuck you right here, too,” Carly confessed, voice husky.
His heartbeat drummed, too fast. Too hard.
“And we will get to that,” Carly promised. “But first, I want the words, Ethan,” she said again. “I need to hear them.”
Fuck it. “I love you.”
Silence.
He should have said them…softer. Not snarled them. Or growled them or whatever the hell it had been that he’d done.
But—
Carly threw her body against his. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. “Again,” she said.
His hands curled around her and he lifted her up, holding her easily as she locked her legs around his hips. “I love you.”
She laughed, and it was a beautiful sound. So happy and free and he wanted to hear Carly laugh like that forever.
His heart was hurting. Beating too fast. Seeming to swell in his chest. Yes, dammit, yes, he did love her. Twisted and bent and as warped as he was, Carly was the one he loved.
Always.
Always had.
Always would.
He kissed her.
Chapter Ten
Her hands locked around Ethan’s neck, and she pulled him closer. Carly put her mouth on Ethan’s, so desperate for his kiss. She’d been waiting for him, sitting in the dark, each moment ticking by so slowly. Victor had advised her to stay away from the police station and when Sophie had appeared—she’d been adamant that Carly would be safer at the hotel’s luxury suite. Apparently, the place had some kickass security that the staff used for those who stayed in that VIP area.
Carly had met Sophie, years ago. She’d always liked and respected the other woman, and she’d known that, if anyone could get Ethan out of police custody, it would be that lawyer.
“I…I’m not in control…” Ethan’s voice was ragged. He took two steps and her back hit the wall. “Give me…moment…”
No, she’d waited long enough. She could feel the long, hard edge of his arousal pressing to her sex. He was kissing her now, frantically, and she met him eagerly. There would be no moment. There was just now. This. Them.
His hands were digging into her hips. Her breasts were aching, the nipples tight and hard as they thrust against his chest. The thin gown she wore provided very little coverage. When she’d wrapped her legs around him, the gown had hiked up and she could feel the air on her thighs.
A scrap of lace—her panties—was in the way. Her panties. His jeans. She needed those barriers gone so that Ethan could sink deep into her.
But he pulled his mouth away from hers. His breath sawed out in heavy pants. “Need…time…”
And she needed to be very, very clear with him. “I want you.” She’d said that before. What was the guy missing?
But he gave a grim shake of his head. “You need care. Gentleness—”
Her nails raked down his back.
He hissed out a breath.
It wasn’t going to work if he kept treating her like a victim—they weren’t going to work. She wanted to kiss the past goodbye and move forward, full speed ahead. The best way to do that? Throw away the kid gloves. “Rip my panties out of the way, Ethan.”
She felt his whole body stiffen.
“You said before that I had to tell you what I wanted.” Her voice had gone husky. Could he hear her desire? She wanted him so badly. “I’m telling you. I want you to rip those panties out of the way.”
Do it. Do…
His right hand slid around her hip. Down, down. She felt his fingers brush over her sex, caressing her through the lace of those panties. That one touch singed her, burning her whole body and making her ache even more for him.
“Rip—”
She heard the sound of those panties tearing, and then his fingers were on her. Stroking her sex. And she got wet for him, so very fast. Maybe she’d been wet and ready from the moment he started kissing her. He eased two fingers into her and Carly’s eyes squeezed shut. Yes, yes!
But she didn’t just want his fingers. “Un…unzip your jeans.” She barely got those words out. Speech was about to be way beyond her.
His hand slid away and she heard the hiss of his zipper.
Then she felt the tip of his cock pushing into her. She gasped at the contact, and he stilled.
“Baby…”
Her eyes opened. She stared straight at him. “I’m not afraid. I want you. Don’t hold back. Don’t.”
This wasn’t Quincy. This wasn’t the past. This was their moment.
He sank into her and she moaned because he was what she’d needed. Exactly what she’d wanted so badly. Ethan withdrew, then thrust back into her. Her heels dug into his ass as she arched against him. Pinned between Ethan and the door, he controlled the thrusts, but she was squeezing him with her sex, arching, taking, and going insane with pleasure.
Skin to skin. There was no condom between them, and she loved feeling him that way. So hot and full. Each thrust sent him sliding over her clit and deep, deep into her. She put her mouth to his throat. Licked. Suck. Bit.
Her control was gone, and she wanted him just as desperate.
But…he was still holding back. Still trying to be so careful…
“Baby, protection, you need…”
She bit him again. “I’m covered and I’m clean.”
“I-I’m clean, too. Don’t take risks.” His words were growled. “Never, but with you…fuck, with you…I need more control. I should—”
“You should fuck me harder.” She clenched her sex around him. “Make me only think of you.” And not blood or death or fear. No desperate worries that Ethan would be locked up and she’d never see him again. She didn’t want to think about any of that. She just wanted him. Always, him.
He gave a ragged groan, and then his control did seem to break away. He drove into her even harder. Even deeper. Fast, strong thrusts. And he was kissing her neck now. Licking her. Giving her a light bite as her head tipped back against the wall. Pleasure rolled within her, rolling and rolling and—
Exploding. Igniting. Taking her over and all she could do was hold on tight for that wild ride with him. Hold on as the world spun out of control all around her.
Then she felt him—a hot splash inside of her as he came, and his body shuddered against hers.
She kissed him, wanting to taste his pleasure. Wanting to make the moment last just a little longer. Because when they were together like this—it truly was just them. Their own w
orld. No one else.
Nothing else.
She heard the drumming of a heartbeat. Fast and deep. Hers? His? It didn’t matter.
Her eyes opened, and Ethan was staring down at her. He was still in her, and her legs still had their death grip around his hips. Without a word, he started walking, holding her easily, staying buried inside of her, as he maneuvered through the suite.
“First door…” She licked her lips. Tasted him. “First door is the master bedroom.”
And that door was conveniently open. He carried her inside. But he didn’t head toward the bed. Instead, he went straight to the bathroom, and he lowered her to the tiled floor right in front of the massive, claw-foot tub. Her toes curled against the tile as he bent and a flick of his hand sent the hot water pouring into the tub. Steam rose a few moments later, and then Ethan stepped into the tub. He offered her his hand.
Her fingers curled around his, and she climbed in, too. They sank into the water, and he was behind her. Her back slid against his stomach, and the warm water surrounded her.
His arms wrapped around her. And he just—held her there.
Carly didn’t think she’d ever felt safer in her life.
***
“Where is Ethan Barclay?”
Victor turned at the question. He was at the hospital, had just dropped by that morning to check in with Charles. But Charles’s very fierce cousin had been on patrol, and Faith had only let him stay a few moments before telling him that visiting time was over—and that Charles needed his rest.
Apparently, Victor’s FBI badge hadn’t impressed the woman very much.
“Agent Monroe, where is Ethan Barclay?”
Victor’s gaze sharpened on the man approaching him. Dr. Keith Nelson. Looking awfully hale and hearty, but still wearing a hospital ID bracelet, even though he was dressed in normal street clothes.
“Is he in custody?” Keith asked. “Have you arrested him for what he did to me?”